Robert Lachman/Los Angeles Times via Getty Images
Kenya Foy
October 17, 2016 10:29 am

We have great news and bad news, in that exact order. First off, pizza remains the undisputed GOAT of foods, so hip hip hooray for that. However, we’ve been eating pizza all wrong, Cosmo UK reports. At this point, you have two options: Either roll your eyes in disgust and continue shoveling whole slices into your mouth at once, or keep reading because you can’t possibly continue going through life without knowing how to eat pizza like a pro.

If you’re still with us, here’s the deal: According to some very trusted information food writer Daniel Young gleaned from renowned pizza consultant Enzo Coccia (srsly, he’s like the king of pizza), our pizza-eating problems begin before we even take the first bite.

“The mistake everyone makes is holding the pizza by the crust,” Young told Manchester Evening News. “That’s not to say you should grab it by the cheese-strings, but if you try to lift Neapolitan pizza by the crust the topping will slide off and you’ll be left with a soggy, sorry-looking piece of dough.”

Hold the phone. We thought the crust was meant for holding!

FOX / giphy.com

We really want to do right by you pizza, but this pizza-eating etiquette is for the birds.

BUT WAIT. There’s another rule.

OK, fine. We totally respect that there’s a cultural aspect to proper pizza eating, but we can’t promise that we’ll be patient enough to coddle our slices before we eat them.

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