Dear Pop Culture,
Hi. I love you. No, seriously, I really do. I know everything there is to know about you. And in fact, I’m a self-proclaimed expert on your wild and complex, ever-changing ways. I follow your shifts closely – sure, I keep up-to-date with your cousin, the News, but News can get super-heavy, and you’re light.
Hey, speaking of light, how much do you weigh? Like, a number. I’m just curious. Really, just give me a number… and don’t fib! I’ll find out. Okay, I probably won’t and even if I do, regardless of what you tell me, I am going to guess your weight and fitness based on nothing but my eyes and good, old-fashioned cynicism. Granted, I have no idea if you sleep well and take your vitamins and eat a balanced diet and go for regular check-ups, but, who cares! I mean, it’s you who regularly reassures me that it’s just so much easier to judge weight based on what I see. Too fat! Too skinny! Too yo-yo! Too up? Too down! Do I know the details of your health? Absolutely not! Does it matter? Heck, no!
Oh, come on, don’t act surprised. Don’t get all shy on us. You know how it goes. I mean, you’ve been sharing your opinion on that topic for .
Hey, like The Kardashians! I mean, just this week, there was…
…Extra large boot?
And, (granted, this one was self-inflicted), this:
Come on, Pop Culture! Enough is enough.
Look, let me be honest – I don’t really follow the Kardashians. I know, I know, it’s so contradictory of the self-proclaimed pop culture aficionado-title I’ve given myself. I do know that they tend to create a lot of their own drama (okay, ‘tend to’ might be an understatement). But you’re not helping, Pop Culture. This fixation with weight – it’s everywhere. Just look at yourself –
Or here, for example:
I mean, let’s call it what it is: it’s a weight-obsession… and it’s so unbecoming. And tiring. Really. And though I love pretty much everything about you, in this case, Pop Culture, on this issue, I just don’t care what you think. So let’s just do us both a favor and drop the topic like it’s hot, because this weight talk is pervasive. And it’s polarizing. And frankly, it’s boring.
Don’t get offended. I’m sure it’s just been a slow pop-culture news cycle for the last
ever week. All I’m saying is that there has to be something more interesting to talk about.
You know, like: