Sammy Nickalls
January 05, 2016 1:35 pm

Want to get 31,000 followers with just 23 posts in 21 weeks? No, you don’t have to post pics of super-cute pets or beautiful beaches — just smash your face into baked goods. At least, it’s worked for the anonymous woman behind the immensely popular BreadFaceBlog Instagram account.

That’s right — the woman (who is totally cool with me calling her “Bread Face,” BTW) smashes her face into various kinds of bread, from cornbread to biscuits to tortillas. She captures it on video, sets it to a pop song, and posts it for our viewing pleasure. Sometimes, she even reviews the bread’s “face feel” on her Tumblr.

But why? Is it for an art installation? A statement of some kind? Nope. “I can’t say a lot of thought was put behind it. It just happened,” she told HelloGiggles.

Hey, we can totally see where she’s coming from, TBH — it probably would feel good. Bread Face, who is likely from New York City due to the fact that she uses many products from eateries located in Brooklyn and Manhattan, has become so popular over the past couple of months that she’s even had breads sent to her from companies to press her face into (although she told Maxim that she “won’t smoosh anything I don’t want to”). 

No, this wasn’t just some publicity stunt — she started doing this years ago, but only recently started taking videos for Instagram. “It seemed like harmless, PG fun and I knew someone would be into it,” she told HG.

And she was certainly right. The account started to get more and more attention, gaining thousands of followers within mere months. . . so why remain anonymous? “I’m naturally pretty introverted so when I started to get attention, it made me anxious,” Bread Face told us. “I think that the weekend it started to gain traction, I went outside once to take out the trash from…like, six consecutive Seamless orders. Also, my regular life is pretty standard stuff, so I knew that would bum people out. I get to be Hannah Montana!”

Living the dream, IMHO.

So why have so many people gravitated to this strange, albeit hilarious account? Perhaps it’s the raw, visceral feel behind it, or perhaps it’s just so random it’s hilarious — but either way, Bread Face says the attention it’s received has been “overwhelmingly positive.”

“The Internet has given everyone the balls to say whatever they want to — which, albeit can be a bad thing — but I’ve been so lucky in that I’ve gotten the best response possible,” she told HelloGiggles. It’s either people love it or people are just saying ‘wtf?!'”

“It’s both a great and terrifying time to be alive — a stranger can email me and tell me how I made their day or their sexual fetishes or they can CAPS LOCK yell at me for wasting bread. . . but that doesn’t hurt my feelings because I actually eat all the bread I smoosh,” Bread Face told us, although she noted that she’s “still working on that party sub.”

Again, understandable. That’s a lot of bread:

According to Bread Face, she’s loved “smooshing” all breads so far, but she does have a one favorite in particular, for anyone who’s curious to try: “1000% a stack of Wonderbread.”

Good to know. Bread *does* seem like it would be soft and cozy. . . I may or may not be eyeing up the loaf on my kitchen table right now.

(Image via Instagram.)

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