Jonathan Zipper
August 31, 2013 11:30 am

We can’t stop summer from ending, but it’s certainly twerking its way out with fanfare. From the aftermath of MTV’s VMA show to an Oxford Dictionary filled with modern jargon, society has a case of “twerk” fever. Well, Labor Day weekend sounds like the perfect time for a mini-break while we wait for this pop culture craze to run its course.

Before you welcome the fall season with open arms and a pumpkin spice latte (can you believe Starbucks is already serving them?!), kick back with a holiday edition of “The Week In WHAT?!

This Little Alligator Went To Acupuncture

Acupuncture isn’t just going to the dogs but to the alligators too. The Sao Paulo Aquarium is currently home to an eight year old albino alligator that has a hunchback and suffers from scoliosis. Hoping to provide the aptly named Bino the alligator with some relief, Brazilian veterinarians decided to try out a holistic approach. Turns out the weekly acupuncture sesh is paying off as Bino has regained some movement in his tail and hind legs. It’s nice to see alternative medicine at work. When does the debate on medical marijuana for animals begin?

Fly Like An Eagle… Into The Window?

The proverbial “they” are always warning us about too much of a good thing, but who knew a little overzealous patriotic chanting could quickly turn a spirit day awry? As part of their aspirational festivities, Oral Roberts University brought in an extra special guest: freedom’s feathered friend, the Bald Eagle. Although handled by a professional trainer, the bird appeared to become anxious as students cheered with shouts of “U-S-A!” and eventually flew directly into a window. Witnesses were clearly shaken up as they watched a symbol of American pride go all kamikaze on a glass panel, but the school’s president opted for a different metaphor by suggesting students aim to be “eagles of Christ.” Oh, the places they’ll go.

This Isn’t Charlotte’s Web

You walk into the living room to find a creepy, crawly spider lurking on the couch — who you gonna call? If you’re as freaked out by spiders as teenager Makenna Sewell, you view this situation as an urgent, urgent emergency and dial 9-1-1. The young Oregonian informed a dispatcher that she had “never seen a spider this big and I have no idea what to do.” Perhaps her nerves got the better of her because police later stated that the so-called “baseball” sized arachnid turned out to be a mere two inches in diameter. It’s unclear as to whether the officer read the spider its Miranda rights prior to escorting the unwanted trespasser from Sewell’s home, but its lawyer could not be reached for a comment.

Six Degrees Of (Actual) Bacon

Everything tastes better with bacon — unless you don’t eat it because of religious dietary restrictions, in which case it’s clearly not the food of the gods. However, if you enjoy pigging out on the salty pork product, then you’ll want to book your next trip to Chicago. That’s because Top Chef Masters contestant David Burke just opened a new all-bacon restaurant in the windy city. Rumor has it this vegetarian’s nightmare may have a creation in the works that will even allow diners to have their bacon cake and eat it too. Sounds like Burke is bringing in the bacon! Sorry, was that one pun too many? And there you have this week in “WHAT?!” Can’t wait to see what’s in store for humanity next!

Image via Washington Post/AP.

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