Mia Galuppo
February 13, 2014 8:00 am

Alcohol tastes gross, right? Am I the only one that thinks this?

We wait for 21 years to partake in a libation that doesn’t taste good, when we could have all been legally eating Milk Duds since we were five. Find me a drink that is as enjoyable as Milk Duds and I will give you a hand shake. That being said, I truly believe that if I had the right surroundings I would enjoy the whole drinking thing a lot more.

Bars on television shows always seem like they are a great time, like the one in New Girl or Three’s Company or The Simpsons or that one show that takes place in an actual bar that’s name currently escapes me. I really just want to go to a place where, like, everybody knows my name and they are always glad that I came. What was that one show called? Man, it will come to me.

In the meantime, below are several factious establishments that are the best places to get a cold one on TV.

1. Moe’s Tavern, The Simpsons 

How many bars can say that they have served Stephen Hawking, Johnny Carson and R.E.M? If I were to guess, the number is probably less than 20.

2. MacLaren’s Pub, How I Met Your Mother

3. Paddy’s Pub, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia 

But don’t play Chardee MacDennis. Don’t tempt fate.

4. Happy Endings Bar, Happy Endings 

I have no idea what the name of the Happy Endings bar is, but who needs a name when you are in a bar with these guys?

5. The Regal Beagle, Three’s Company

6. Fangtasia/ Merlotte’s, True Blood

7. Bulge, Parks and Recreation 

8. The Drunken Clam, Family Club

You should want to drink here, if for no reason other than the name.

9. Clyde’s, New Girl 

I feel like at Clyde’s I wouldn’t have to pay for drinks. Not because guys would buy me drinks or anything like that but because Nick would just forget to charge me.

10. The Mystic Grill, The Vampire Diaries

11. Gray’s Pub, Cougar Town

12. Essence, Park and Recreation

Essence is molecular mixology bar. Now, I have no idea what “molecular mixology” means but I do know that I probably don’t like it.

This is mine and Ron Swanson’s definition of hell.

13. Rosie’s Bar, M*A*S*H

14. And Jeremy Piven, Arrested Development 

It is everything that you could hope for from a bar started by one of the guys from Entourage, and so much more. (The more is indoor fedoras… a lot of fedoras.)

15. Snakehole Lounge, Parks and Recreation

Snake juice is described as a delicious blend of many kinds of alcohol, coffee, sugar and ingredients.

16. The Love Boat, The Love Boat

When you are on the Love Boat, how do you fill the downtime between ice sculpting on top deck and that flower arranging lesson on the promenade? With a strawberry daiquiri made by this guy.

17. The Tropicana, I Love Lucy

Huh, I can’t believe that I still can’t remember that one sitcom that was about the relationships between bar staff and their patrons.

Well, anyways, happy drinking! Cheersssss… wait a second… CHEERS. It’s Cheers!

18. Cheers, Cheers

A young Woody Harrelson serving you a drink, while Ted Danson reminisces about baseball, Rhea Perlman brings the sass and John Ratzenberger fills you with random, completely useless trivia. Is this a bar, or is it heaven?

Featured images viaviaviaviaviaviaviaviaviaviaviaviavia

Advertisement