That’s right, folks. It’s that wonderful time of the year when we let ourselves indulge in a little more chocolate than usual. This year I say we don’t feel guilty about eating Halloween candy. I suggest we embrace it. Why not feel happy about enjoying something that reminds us of playful childhood memories? We were kids. We were carefree. We were fearless. So here are thirteen great reasons why Halloween candy is good for you:
1. Chocolate is a great motivator to get to the gym more.
The push-pull of eating candy and outgrowing my skinny jeans keeps me walking a fine line. To keep any muffin top from expanding, I get to the gym religiously. Unfortunately, after a good sweat, I usually feel justified to treat myself to something sweet. But, hey, at least I’m using that gym membership.
2. Chocolate helps with the mid-afternoon slump at work.
A steady in-stream of Hershey’s miniatures always helps me stay alert until quitting time. It’s the perfect ratio of sugar and chocolate to get me through the day. And since I don’t drink coffee anymore, I need some sort of pick-me-up.
3. Candy can help figure out which fillings are loose.
Isn’t this why Sugar Daddys were made? As a kid, I remember the experience of biting down on the sticky caramel and not being able to pry my mouth open. Now that’s scary fun. I can’t eat these anymore unless I want to see my dentist more frequently, which I don’t. Maybe if he was cute that might inspire me to start up my Sugar Daddy habit again. Nah, I like my teeth too much. But as a kid these rocked.
4. Candy now comes in sugar-free varieties!
Luckily, even on a restricted diet you can shop in the candy aisle. Thanks to chemistry, you can eat sweets containing stevia, aspartame, saccharin and sucralose. Go ahead and sink your sweet tooth into that sugar-free cookie or pumpkin muffin. Modern science is great!
5. No need for embarrassment.
It’s the only time of year I can hold my head up high in the checkout line without feeling like I should give some lame excuse to the cashier why my cart is overstuffed with candy.
6. On Halloween, one serving size equals a full pillowcase.
That’s my measuring stick. I’m just saying.
7. You don’t have to pound the pavement in an itchy costume just to enjoy a Snickers.
I can snack on a whole bag of them while wearing my warm robe and fuzzy slippers in the comfort of my own home. It doesn’t get much lazier than that.
8. The leftover stash gives you something to do when you wake up in the middle of the night.
Yet another good reason to have insomnia.
9. You have stronger willpower to pass up dessert when eating out.
It’s easier to exercise my impulse control when I know there’s a smorgasbord of chocolate, caramel and nougat waiting up for me when I get home.
10. Cookies help to boost your calcium intake.
I’m just following doctor’s orders. We should all meet our RDA of calcium with milk and goblin-shaped cookies. Hey, we all need strong bones.
11. The extra sugar jolt helps you stay awake so you can watch the late night horror movies.
12. Eating candy gives you healthier gums.
After a day of snacking on sticky, chewy treats, I definitely take that extra time to floss more diligently. I know my dentist appreciates that.
And the scariest one of all…
13. Chocolate keeps me from turning into a monster.
For me, chocolate is way better than Midol. This is the only time all year that I pray my time of the month falls on a holiday so I can have an excuse to over indulge guilt-free. It’s for medical purposes. No one can judge me for that. But if they do, they’ll get what’s coming to ‘em.
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