It is that time of year again, where we all come together to count our blessings and get yelled at by our respective family members.
I thought in preparation for Thanksgiving I would preemptively make a list of some of the things I am particularly thankful for.
I know a list like this is very subjective but I hope that you will agree with some of its contents.
There is nothing more tedious than a pari of button-fly jeans. Zippers have afforded the pants-wearing population millions of extra seconds of free time, which collectively could be spent re-watching Friends or re-watching Friday Night Lights. You could spend that extra time re-watching really anything.
2. Henry Cavill’s Jawline
It is a marvel of modern engineering.
3. The Levator Anguli Oris
This mish-mash of unpronounceable Latin is one of the 53 muscles that enable the human face to form a smile, and who doesn’t like a good smile?
4. Jimmy Stewart
Everyone remembers his or her first crush. Mine was Ash Ketchum… but my second was Jimmy Stewart.
In You Can’t Take It With You when he tells Jean Arthur, in his distinctive Indiana droll, “You’re so beautiful it just gags me,” I knew I was smitten.
5. People That Look Like Their Dogs
I don’t know why this makes me so happy. I think it’s because it’s proof that we take on the traits of the things we most love, which could explain why I am progressively starting to look more and more like Jimmy Stewart.
6. Martin Scorsese’s Eyebrows
Every time I look at Martin Scorsese’s eyebrows I just get happy. He seems like a wily type of guy with a spirit for adventure, and his unruly, peppered eyebrows are emblematic of such a persona. One day, I hope to make their acquaintance but until then I am thankful for their existence.
I just think this guy is so gosh darn cool. He came up with the theory of hydrostatics and invented the lever, not to mention all of his war machines that were used in Syracuse’s war against the Romans.
I am thankful for Archimedes because he is one of those guys that make history so enjoyable. I mean he came up with a heat ray in 214 BC. You can’t write this stuff.
9. The Little Prince
I was once told by my extremely well read, 92-year-old great-uncle that this book taught him more about love and loss than any Faulkner or Hemingway concoction.
Being that I am a big stupid, I didn’t get around to reading it until last year and I made the mistake of doing to in my school’s library. I have never cried that hard in public since I found out Disney channel canceled Lizzie McGuire. I am always thankful for a good cry.
10. Being Completely, Undeniably Wrong
Have you ever raised your hand in class to answer a question and you are so gosh darn confident in your response that you smugly look to your other classmates as if to say, “Guys, I got this. It’s cool.” Then you triumphantly give your answer and pause for your deserved standing ovation when your teacher mercilessly rebuffs your response, at which point your heart descends into your stomach and your soul recoils back into your spine.
You know that feeling? I am so thankful for that awful, awful feeling. The one that knocks the wind out of your ego and humbles you in an instant. It tells you that you aren’t nearly as smart as you thought you were and is an indication that you have so much more to learn. And that is a pretty cool thing.
If you feel so inclined, please share the things that you are thankful in the comments section. There are no wrong answers, I swear.