Tyler Vendetti
December 02, 2013 9:00 am

I’m not very good at giving definitive answers to things. My indecisiveness often prevents me from providing a solid answer so I often prepare two choices to every question. However, there are two exceptions to this rule the first being “what’s your favorite animal?” (answer: kitten) and the second, what is your favorite month? Granted, I’ve never been a fan of the warmer seasons, so I’m a little biased whenever this question comes up, but I also have good reasons for it that aren’t entirely based on the temperature.

1) It always has the best snow.

When people complain about winter, they’re usually referring to the unforgiving snowstorms that hit during mid-January and leave the streets covered in grey, slushie puddles of doom (not to mention the black ice that forms underneath it all, like an outgrowth of evil festering beneath the surface). December usually provides a different kind of snow, one more conducive to happy memories than power outages and highway pile-ups caused by patches of ice. Not only is the snow perfectly fluffy, which makes it great for sledding and snowballs, but it also adorns entire neighborhoods in beautiful blankets of white. It’s the Golden Age of winter.

2) No one questions your Santa hat.

In any other month, people demand that you provide a reason for wearing a Santa hat in public other than “I lost my toupee” or “I’m training to be an elf.” In December, it’s like the world gives you permission to emulate the large, jolly, bearded man that everyone has come to know and love. (No, I don’t mean the king from the Burger King commercials.) Santa hats in December turn every occasion into one filled with joy, and joy, and joyness.

3) Seasonal drinks are in full swing.

Life is not about the destination but about the journey. Which is to say, Christmas is not the best part of December on its own. Rather, it is the little things that lead up to Christmas that make it so great, including the little things that we consume on a day to day basis. If those things also happen to include the words “peppermint,” “mocha,” or “eggnog,” then you’re doing the journey right.

4) You get free stuff.

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, or Bathtub Party Day (it is a thing and it happens in December, you’re welcome), December is a hub of festivities. Apart from all the religious celebrations, there is also New Years Eve and the Winter Solstice. December also happens to be Human Rights month, which includes AIDS National Awareness Day. So basically, there are positive vibes errday.

5) It is the best month to start job hunting.

Out of curiosity, I asked Google why December was the best month of them all, and it spit out a bunch of articles about December’s great job prospects, so I figured I would include it. Apparently, during the month of December, many job-hunters take a break from their search to celebrate the holidays, leaving less competition and more slots. Plus, employers, and people in general, tend to absorb the generosity of those around them, making them more inclined to propose an interview or offer you the job.

6) It’s the end!…of the year.

Maybe 2013 wasn’t your year. That’s understandable. It doesn, after all, have a thirteen at the end, which isn’t the luckiest of numbers. Luckily, December marks the last month of the year, which means you are closer than ever to 2014 and all of the new beginnings that come with it.

7) Baking cookies every other day is entirely acceptable, if not encouraged.

What were those precut sugar cookies with holiday symbols made for if not for eating during snowy winter afternoons? With December comes a slew of holiday parties, which means more opportunities for your inner Martha Stewart to show off her baking skills. And, even if the invites to holiday parties runs low one year, it’s always acceptable to bake cookies for the sake of being “festive.” Pull out that word and no one will question you.

8) Mistletoes galore.

I’m tempted to insert a winky face under this point and move on but I feel like that’s not entirely fair to this bullet point when the others have so much information. December is the only time of year where dangling an herb over someone’s head will function as an effective replacement for a pick-up line, so I suggest you take advantage of it.

9) People send out family holiday cards and updates.

Every year, you inevitably get that family whose Christmas card says something along the lines of, “Cheers again from the Smith family! This year, we collectively ate a pound of Junior Mints and once, we gave the dog a Mohawk. Other than that, there’s no news to report.” And then you smile, and life is perfect for a moment.

10) Ugly sweater parties are a go.

Bridget Jones may have been embarrassed by her ugly sweaters, but only true Christmas enthusiasts know that such articles of clothing are the pinnacle of the holiday season. If there is not at least one partially 3D cat each shoulder, you are not allowed into any of my holiday parties. You know what they say: sweaters or it didn’t happen.

Featured image via WHIDCN.com

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