An attraction in Florida is hiring full-time mermaids, because apparently our dream job DOES exist
Dreams do come true. If you’ve always wanted to be a mermaid, this is your big chance. Florida State Park Weeki Wachee is holding auditions for mermaids. As in, you could get paid to be a professional mermaid. Here’s the catch though (no pun intended) — the audition process sounds pretty intense. But then again, when you’re going for your dream, you’ve got to believe in yourself. So read up on some inspirational quotes and then check out what you’ll have to do to become a mermaid. Is there really any task too great if it could result in becoming an actual mermaid? Well, that’s up to you to decide. Let’s review the mermaid audition parameters.
First, as the Tampa Bay Times reports, you’ll have to complete a 300-yard timed endurance swim. As if that doesn’t sound hard enough, you’ll be swimming both with and against the current. Oh yeah, did we mention that Weeki Wachee Springs State Park is located at the head of a river? Yes, the mermaids swim in the 72-degree spring water at the head of the Weeki Wachee River near the Gulf of Mexico.
If you’ve never tried swimming up a river, you might want to fly south to the warmest waters you can find and give it a practice, because it’s not exactly the easiest thing to do. However, it’s certainly possible, as is becoming a mermaid, miraculously.
But as the Tampa Bay Times warns, not everyone gets past this point of the audition.
“It’s an inherently dangerous job,” John Athananson, the PR manager for the state park, told the Times. Apparently, being a mermaid entails more than lounging on rocks and swishing your sparkly tail. Is there anything that Disney didn’t lie to us about during our childhoods?
The next task in the audition is even harder.
After completing the 300-yard timed endurance swim, mermaid hopefuls must tread water for 10 to 15 minutes. That’s almost half an episode of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt!
If you somehow manage to pass the first two rounds, there’s still one more test. As the Times states, the third test involves an underwater audition. And based on the videos from Weeki Wachee Springs, it’ll probably involve more than just an underwater somersault or handstand.
“Candidates will perform underwater ballet moves, like flips, a few feet below water in the park’s submerged mermaid tank that faces a 400-seat auditorium. The underwater audition shows how ‘comfortable’ or ‘panicky’ a candidate looks behind the glass,” the Times reports.
Being a mermaid might not be as magical as you imagine, though.
As a job review on The Penny Hoarder states, the water’s year-round temperature of 74 degrees can prove difficult conditions for warm-blooded creatures. “Some mermaids emerge from the water shaking uncontrollably after a show. They’re whisked away into the ‘hot room’ so their body temperatures can stabilize,” the site’s job profile states.
If swimming in cold temperatures with a slight current sounds like your siren dream come true, then go ahead and reserve a spot during auditions, which are being held on January 13th. But if your mermaid dreams consist of more lounging than somersaulting, this probably isn’t the job for you.
Don’t give up hope, though. The right mermaid job for you is out there somewhere. Just keep dreaming until you find it!