Jessica Booth
March 26, 2018 3:28 pm
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As far as personality types go, most people consider themselves either an introvert or an extrovert. While you can, of course, have the qualities of both, usually people feel they identify more with one than the other. Because these personalities are so different, it often turns into an introvert vs extrovert type of deal, where both kinds of people have trouble understanding the other person. To make things a little less confusing, though, there are some things extroverts want all introverts to know.

When you think of an extrovert, you probably think of someone who is outgoing, loud, friendly — someone who is always the life of the party. This is kind of true, but what does it actually mean to be an extrovert? It’s really more about how someone gains energy rather than how they act around others. An extrovert gains energy from being around other people, while an introvert gains energy from being alone. So while extroverts do love to be social and be around all of their friends, they can still be shy. Being an extrovert doesn’t automatically mean you’re always the center of attention.

That said, extroverts and introverts can still be quite different, and that can lead to a lot of miscommunication. If you’re an introvert, you should know the below info about extroverts so that you’re better aware of how they operate and what their intentions are. Keep in mind that an extrovert or introvert label doesn’t define someone completely. Still, it’s helpful to know more about the other type. Here are a few things all extroverts want introverts to know:

1. They’re not trying to get you out of your shell because they don’t like who you are. They’re just trying to help.

Extroverts don’t really understand introverts unless it’s explained to them. For an extrovert, being social comes so naturally that they can’t really wrap their heads around the idea that some people don’t like it at all. That makes sense! But because they don’t always fully understand it, extroverts will often try to persuade an introvert to be more extroverted — and this can be annoying to an introvert. The one thing to understand is that extroverts aren’t doing this because they don’t like who an introvert is. They think they’re helping introverts. So try not to take it personally…and try to see the good intentions behind it.

2. They can’t read your mind — you need to be more clear.

Extroverts are not subtle. They say what they think and they expect others to be as clear and direct as they are — and a lot of times, introverts are not that way. If an extrovert is asking you something or trying to communicate with you, you need to be straightforward and direct. Extroverts have trouble picking up on subtle hints or cues, and they don’t like mind games. They just want you to be totally honest.

3. They can’t help oversharing. They just like to talk!

Introverts enjoy silence — they often don’t speak unless they have something they feel is worthwhile to say. Extroverts, on the other hand, don’t feel comfortable in silence. They like to talk to other people and be social, and they don’t really feel comfortable with long silences or pauses. So to fill that space, extroverts will often overshare, or just talk a lot. They’re not trying to do this — they just can’t really help it.

4. They love being around other people, so if they invite more along, it’s not because they don’t want to be alone with you.

As an introvert, you might feel insulted if your extroverted friend is always inviting others along whenever you make plans. You might think they just don’t want to hang with you on your own because they don’t like you that much. That is probably not true. Extroverts just really love to be surrounded by people and for them, it’s the more the merrier no matter what. Extroverts will invite other people because that’s fun for them, so don’t take it personally.

5. You can stop by whenever you want, and no, they’re not just being polite!

Introverts don’t like to be interrupted, and they don’t like people just dropping by without making plans. Extroverts, on the other hand, love it. Extroverts will say, “Come over any time!” and they’ll genuinely mean it. So if you’re an introvert, don’t assume they are just like you in that sense.

6. They do enjoy alone time once in a while.

One common misconception about extroverts is that they need to be surrounded by other people 24/7. This is often not true. Extroverts do love crowds and parties and being with all of their friends, but that doesn’t meant they don’t also appreciate alone time. Extroverts also need time and space to collect their thoughts and relax. They night not need it as much as introverts do, but that doesn’t mean the need doesn’t exist. (So maybe text before dropping by.)

7. They can still be shy.

People often believe that being introverted is the same thing as shy and that being extroverted is the same thing as being outgoing. That seems like it makes sense, but it’s not true. An extrovert can be shy, too. It might take them longer to fully come out of their shell or to really speak up. They might have trouble making new friends or going out of their way to make a first move or approach other people. It’s totally possible to be an extrovert and to still have a shy personality.

8. They don’t like small talk, they just don’t like silence.

Introverts are known for their hatred of small talk, but listen: no one really enjoys small talk. It’s awkward and uncomfortable. Extroverts don’t particularly love it either! They just don’t like to sit in silence, so they’ll make small talk to get through that.

9. They’re not always flirting.

Many extroverts get a reputation for flirting with everyone, but that’s not always what they’re doing. Extroverts can be friendly and talkative, and they’re really good at connecting with other people. Because of this, their behavior might come off as flirtatious…but that’s not always the case. If you remember anything, remember that.

The sooner introverts and extroverts *get* each other, the easier relationships will be, so definitely keep this stuff in mind.

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