Dreams about your partner can be amazing, or they can be nightmares. Have you ever woken up from a terrible dream that involved your love, completely panicked and convinced the dream will mirror real life? You’re not alone. Dreaming about your partner is super common, and just because a dream was realistic doesn’t mean it’s bound to come true.
Lauri Loewenberg, a professional dream interpreter, says that our dreams often reference problems from our waking lives. “Dreams are alerting you to this issue and letting you know this is bothering you,” she told HelloGiggles.
Here are eight dreams you may have had about your love, and what they mean.
If you dream that your partner is cheating on you…
Don’t panic. “If there’s a history of infidelity with the partner, then it could mean you still don’t trust them,” said Loewenberg. “But if there’s no history and this seems to be coming out of nowhere, it doesn’t mean they are cheating, but you do feel there is a third wheel in the relationship.”
This could be something that’s taking up too much of their time, like work, an all-consuming hobby, or a particularly needy friend. “You feel cheated out of your quality time with them,” Loewenberg explained.
If you dream that you are cheating on your partner…
The idea is similar: There may be something taking up a lot of your attention, directing it away from your partner.
“If you are not cheating in real life, turn the tables on yourself,” Loewenberg suggested. “What are you doing that might be taking away from the relationship? What are you giving too much time and attention to? Deep down there is some guilt there. Are you giving all your love and affection to a new baby, or a pet, or something else?”
If you dream that your partner is dying or dead…
“It’s a terrible dream to have, but it’s not bad,” Loewenberg said. “The death is the end of life as you now know it. It’s a good indication that something is changing or something is coming to an end, either within that relationship or with that person.”
According to Loewenberg, it’s common to have this kind of dream when your relationship changes, like if you move in together, get engaged, have a child, or transition to or from a long-distance relationship.
If you dream that you and your partner are having a baby…
“This can be alarming if you are not ready for that dream, but doesn’t mean you need to go pee on a stick,” said Loewenberg. “It means that, rather than something ending, there is something new happening.”
Maybe that means your relationship has changed in some way so you have more responsibility, like you are currently the breadwinner or supporting a sick spouse.
If you dream about your ex…
No, that doesn’t mean you’re still hung up on them. Instead, Loewenberg suggested, there may be something from that relationship that stuck with you. “[Maybe it’s] a pattern of behavior, animosity, guilt, or a grudge you are holding,” she said.
There are also some common symbols in recurring dreams that Loewenberg says you should look out for.
A dog: If you’re dreaming about a dog and your partner, pay attention to the dog’s behavior. “Is it harmful and attacking you? Is it friendly? Are you communicating with it? Is it dying, or sick? It could reflect how you feel in the relationship,” she said.
A cat: “Cats can symbolize the sexual side of the relationship, especially if you are a woman,” Loewenberg said. “The cat will represent the female sexuality within the relationship. What is the cat doing? Is it attacking you, or do you feel threatened by it? [That could represent] trouble in the intimacy department.”
Driving: In your dreams about your partner that involve driving, who is behind the wheel? And is that who is in control of the relationship? “It’s not necessarily a bad thing if you’re making the decisions and the other is okay with it, but if one of you is driving off a cliff, causing accidents, then there’s a control issue you need to know about,” Loewenberg said.
Ultimately, Loewenberg says that addressing any underlying issues should make your recurring dreams about your partner go away.
“We tend to ignore and deny things when we are awake, but our dreams won’t allow us to do that,” she explained. “When you are able to identify the issue your dream is commenting on and you can correct or end it, you don’t give a reason for the dream to come back.”