Jonathan Zipper
July 21, 2013 9:00 am

Who says British monarchs are all tradition and stuffiness? This week, QE2 told the anti-gay marriage contingent to kiss her royal heinie with the stroke of a pen. In response, actor Alec Mapa tweeted about her majesty’s obvious reasoning: “Those fancy hats don’t make themselves you know.” Ah, yet another reminder that sometimes those with power use it for good.

Oh, and congratulations if you’ve made it through this week despite the massive heat wave. Why not kick up the air conditioners (or fans) a couple more notches and plug in to another edition of “The Week In WHAT?!” to celebrate?

It’s Just a Little Extra Cushion!

Dealing with painful and recurring lower back problems? Perhaps it’s a simple yet incurable case of something one medical professional refers to as “ghetto booty.” Yes, that’s the conclusion Tennessee-based Dr. Timothy Sweo came to regarding his patient, Terry Ragland, following a consultation and x-ray review. After the initial shock of the diagnosis wore off, Ragland spoke with an office manager about her meeting with Sweo. The physician then sent her an apologetic letter in which he defended his bedside manner (likely courtesy of the school of Dr. House) as a means for making a technical conversation “less technical.” Ragland has since filed an official complaint with the Tennessee Department of Health. They say that laughter is the best medicine, but not if the doctor’s behaving like a total P(retty)-H(uge)-D…

A Wii Bit of a Violent Overreaction?

When it comes to videogames, a little competitive fire is to be expected. As one gets caught up in the heat of the moment, an occasional friendly wager can even add to the excitement. Just make sure you’re not inadvertently putting your life at risk by taking the bet too seriously, which appears to be what happened between one Canadian couple. Keith Wiens, a retired Royal Canadian Mounted Police officer, is facing murder charges for shooting his wife in the head after she urged him to make good on a Wii-related sex bet. While not denying that he killed her, Wiens told the court he was acting in self defense. Gamers, be careful out there!

E is for Education, P is for Parenting!

In a fairly aggressive move that’s both a little bit country and a little bit rock n’ roll, Utah State Senator Aaron Osmond recently called for an end to mandatory education. The nephew of Donny and Marie feels the education system should look to its past as “an opportunity” rather than a forced mandate. His argument is based on his belief that parents are less engaged than they once were in their children’s education, thus placing many parenting responsibilities on teachers. Essentially, parents could deny sending their kids to school altogether. Opponents of Osmond’s proposal might argue that some children could lack any form of education entirely if not for mandatory schooling. Who doesn’t enjoy playing with a freshly sharpened double-edged sword during summer break?

Bey Afraid. Bey Very Afraid!

One does not mess with Beyonce during her concert. Scratch that. ONE DOES NOT MESS WITH BEYONCE EVER. Of course, sometimes people only learn such difficult life lessons through first hand experience. During her Mrs. Carter Show in the ATL, Queen Bey sought audience participation on “Irreplaceable,” but it wasn’t the only hit on display. While on the prowl, Bey caught the scent of a man filming the moment on his phone rather than appreciating it live. Bey barked a few warning shots for the man to sing. Then, in complete Sasha Fierce realness, she pounced: “Put that damn camera down!” Guess that’s what Alicia Keys calls a lesson learned.

And there you have this week in “WHAT?!” Can’t wait to see what’s in store for humanity next!

Image via Shutterstock.

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