Julia Prescott
November 20, 2015 4:59 pm

I blame my mother. Ever since I was old enough to ask, “What’s coffee?” I’ve been slowly slipping down a rabbit hole of increasingly higher levels of caffeine consumption.

Insomnia be darned, I will stop for another cup. Add shot, double shot, triple, quad, whathaveyou — I’ve been caring for an insatiable appetite that begs the question, “How much more caffeine can I take?” Lucky for me, this one coffee roaster has the answer.

According to their website, Death Wish Coffee hopes to take it up a couple of notches in the business of getting buzzy. Mike Brown is the fearless leader in the crusade of giving us all insomnia, and he’s credited his coffee brand’s uniqueness with having “200% more caffeine than a regular cup of coffee.” Brown is confident you’re going to love his coffee (and find it effective) that “they offer a 60-day money back guarantee,” according to Delish.

You read that right: 200%.

However, Brown doesn’t necessarily stop there. Not only does each cup of his brew boast more caffeine, but he and his company have managed to find a recipe that eliminates the normal bitter taste that often comes from dark roasts.

So there it is, folks. Ditch the Starbucks line, stop guzzling down those questionable energy drinks and get on the Death Wish train. When you see me at the supermarket next week, pay no attention to the fact that I haven’t slept in days.

(Image via The CW, Death Wish Coffee)

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