Kenya Foy
Updated Mar 15, 2017 @ 4:32 pm
bridesmaids speech
Credit: Universal Pictures

Not everyone is cut out for public speaking, so if you’re a wedding party member who’s prone to cold sweats and dizzy spells when verbalizing thoughts in front of an audience, relax and take deep breaths because this company will write your wedding speech, InStyle reports.

If this dreaded speech is why you really don’t want to be anyone’s bridesmaid because of the self-induced pressure to string together words that live up to those of that Hamilton-inspired wedding speech, we honestly get it! Sure, that poetic ode to marriage made us all swoon with overflowing feels, but if it’s not your thing, it just isn’t, which is why we’ll be the last ones to judge you for employing the services of Speech Tank.

It is because of shaky-kneed, perspiration-drenched wedding attendants like you that Speech Tank exists, so stay positive and be thankful that you won’t ruin your friend or loved one’s big day with a mouthful of meaningless babble.

We seriously doubt Marisa Polansky and Kristine Keller — the writers who launched Speech Tank — would let you go out like that. The pair have plenty of experience helping friends who faced the speech-writing conundrum, which inspired them to turn it into a business.

Tongue-tied customers need only contact Speech Tank for a free consultation, where they outline their needs. Or if they have their thoughts written out, Polansky and Keller will review it. There’s also a complete package that includes the consultation, a draft, and a single revision.

If this speech struggle hits close to home for you, Polansky offered up some tips to mull over in the meantime.

We couldn’t agree more. Also, who else thinks this amazing wedding speech-writing idea deserves a toast?