Jonathan Zipper
September 08, 2013 1:00 pm

According to the Jewish calendar, it’s a brand new year. Welcome to 5774! Even if Rosh Hashanah isn’t a holiday you personally observe, why pass up an opportunity to celebrate a fresh start? All the recent talk of war serves as a good reminder that the world can be a scary place, but that doesn’t mean life can’t be beautiful if we make it so. As they say, reflection and change starts from within!

Of course, before you decide to get all internal and deep, check out some of the weird news you may have missed during this abbreviated week with “The Week In WHAT?!

Where The Fruit Is

Earlier this week, 500 students and staff at the University of Massachusetts crossed something off of their bucket lists: setting a world record. This was not an easy feat, or a particularly noteworthy one at all depending who you ask. The record isn’t for an athletic, intellectual, or creative achievement, but rather one awarded for preparing the world’s largest fruit salad. Yes, UMASS now holds the distinction of creating a 15,000 pound fruit salad, which members of the educational institution mixed in a swimming pool. Hopefully, they cleaned the pool first, otherwise “healthy” might be a misnomer for the dish. Ah, college tuition at work.

Disgruntled Passenger Makes BA Look B-A-D

The process of flying on a commercial airline often leads to frustration. Between the time you arrive at your local airport to landing at your destination, so many things can go wrong: long security lines, delayed flights, sitting in a middle seat between two strangers that actually know each other and talk over you the entire flight rather than switching seats all together. If thinking about this fills you with an overwhelming sense of anxiety, then you can probably relate to disgruntled British Airways traveler Hasan Syed, who started a public Twitter crusade against the airline after it lost his father’s bag. To ensure his complaints reached the intended audience, Syed spent $1000 to use the promoted tweets service. Over 77,000 people saw the angry tweet, leading to a response from the BA Twitter handle informing him the company’s social media team was not in the office outside of 9-to-5 business hours. The back and forth continued with BA’s responses further proving Syed’s point about poor customer service. So, to recap, BA upset a passenger to the point where he happily dropped a grand to voice his disapproval. Who exactly is the winner here?

It’s All In The Wrist

In today’s digital world, security is of the utmost importance. Almost everything requires a password or other form of authentication, and while various companies update their programs to provide consumers with arguably “better” protection, hackers continue to discover new techniques for making your life miserable. Then there’s the problem of resetting a password only to eventually forget it. It’s a vicious cycle, but one that a start-up by the name of Bionym hopes to end. The tech org is publicly launching its first product, the Nymi, which is a bracelet that can potentially unlock everything in your life. If it sounds like a key to Pandora’s box, that’s because it pretty much could be. The Nymi uses its sensors to confirm you are who you say you are before giving you access to your stuff. For now, we’ll continue to fantasize and pretend that you wouldn’t be entirely “S-O-L” if you couldn’t get an immediate replacement after accidentally breaking your Nymi. Maybe Bionym will release a teleportation device next for prompt delivery.

London Skyscraper Soaks Up The Sun

Behold the power of the sun! London is known for frequently cloudy skies and rain that rivals the Pacific Northwest, but it turns out that some locals might now fear sunny days thanks to a new skyscraper in the city’s financial district. Businessman Martin Lindsay filed a complaint again the so-called “Walkie Talkie” building after returning to his nearby parked Jaguar only to find that parts of the car had melted. Lindsay believes that his car’s mirrors and panels warped following exposure to the sunlight reflecting off of the as of yet unfinished building. Neighborhood business owners also reported similar sun damage to their storefronts. The building’s developers are working to solve the problem. In the meantime, authorities request that all vampires avoid the area indefinitely.

And there you have this week in “WHAT?!” Can’t wait to see what’s in store for humanity next!

Image via MassLive.

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