Kathryn Lindsay
October 14, 2015 4:00 am

I know, a “Cinderfella” sounds like another word for a Disney hero, but this new term describes a type of partner who is anything but. A Cinderfella, like the character he’s named after, is looking to be rescued. Specifically, a Cinderfella is looking to be rescued by your love and fast.

I’ll let Michelle Martin of the Huffington Post, who coined the term, explain:

Eek. I think we can all remember a time we were with someone who wanted too much too soon. But for women (or men) who experience the opposite problem, too many potential partners who won’t commit, this can be an easy trap to fall into. But what’s important to remember is that it’s not love, it’s… kind of an obsession. A Cinderfella is in love with the idea of a relationship rather than the person he is in it with. This is not good for anyone, especially you.

Glamour adds that being with a Cinderfella “doesn’t bode well for navigating the challenges of long-term relationships once things get real,” and that’s the problem.

Healthy relationships have boundaries and respect, things a Cinderfella doesn’t think are important because they’re too focused on themselves. They want to solve their own emotional issues without giving any thought to yours. Instead of intense neediness and 24/7 contact, a relationship should be about comfort and trust.

If you find that you are dating a Cinderfella (and this term can be totally applied to a lady BTW —this kind of neediness doesn’t just pertain to a single gender, of course), then it’s time for you two to have a serious talk about your relationship. Let’s be honest; neither of you are getting what you want. A relationship doesn’t actually fix a Cinderfella’s internal struggles, and a relationship that isn’t truly real is not one worth having. You deserve a Prince/Princess Charming, not a Cinderfella or Cinderlady. Or at least, someone who is in it for you.

(Image via Disney)

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