Sulagna Misra & Lilian Min
October 15, 2015 3:15 pm

This is an imaginary G-chat conversation, it is in no way meant to represent an actual G-chat the humans in question would actually have.

NOTED: On DVD: Magnificent ‘Mad Max: Fury Road’ roars into stores

Tom Hardy to Charlize Theron: CHARLIZE CHECK OUT MY DAWG PHOTOS!!!!

Charlize Theron: dammit Tom

I just logged in to check if my Nordstrom order came in

TH: [eight pictures in succession]

CT: gah

TH: which is your favorite????

CT: um

ok #5 is amazing

TH: YASSSSSSSSS RIGHT

CT: You’re so lucky

my cat would never go to a premiere w me

*teardrop emoji*

Charlize Theron to Zoe Kravitz: Zoe! I just saw Dope

you were DOPE in it!!! haha

Zoe Kravitz: haha yeah

CT: have you gotten that a lot

ZK: not as much as I wish I had

maybe the people I hang out with are too cool

CT: ouch

ZK: ahahaha jk jk

CT: so when are you going to be in your own franchise

ZK: lol idk

it’s not like I’ve got a ton of offers or anything

CT: WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

ZK: I mean…

I have been getting some cool stuff

but

you know

CT: THIS WILL NOT STAND

okay first we’re going to nordstrom

i’ll ask beatrice to lay out some chic, all-black samples

ZK: uh

beatrice?

CT: my personal nordstrom shopper

then we’ll sit down and discuss all the upcoming projects you have your eye on

after that, we’ll have coffee with your agent

ZK: hang on you’re going too fast

CT: and look at your upcoming auditions

i’ll put a word in with chris and see what are his plans for his next film

ZK: chris?

CT: nolan, tom’s close with him

speaking of tom, have you seen his latest puppy gif? adorbs

looks just like nick, all baby blue eyes and smiles

(hoult, before you ask) 🙂

Tom Hardy to Nicholas Hoult: hey

Nicholas Hoult: hi!

TH: I heard you were playing a murderer!

NH: uh

TH: so I played Bane

and I wanted to give you advice

NH: actually

TH: remember to scowl at people

if you have a dog

watch him growl at things

and practice in the street

throw some eyebrow action into it

NH: uh

ok

TH: and if you start thinking of silly things when you’re frowning

think of me as Bane instead

NH: ok Tom

I’m actually playing JD Salinger

TH: The guy from Bojack Horseman?

NH: …yes

so

NOT a murderer

but I will take this advice under consideration

if I ever do play one

TH: oh! sry

NH: its ok

but, not playing a murderer

TH: awwwww

but you’d be so good at it

NH: logging off now

You May Like