When Jennifer Lawrence moved into a new house in the hills (Jessica Simpson’s former abode), photos cropped up all over the internet. The house itself is totally lovely and everyone wants to know how she’ll furnish it, but I found myself thinking: what a great little outdoor space. And then I thought, for so many reasons, how amazing it would be to live in a tent in Jennifer Lawrence’s backyard. That idea sent me down the rabbit hole of Googling other celebrities’ properties and so, if you’re reading this, Sting, here is my dream list of celebrity lawns I’d like to live on.

George Clooney & Amal Alamuddin’s Digs

It’s not so much “a house” as “a private island” but it’ll do. While George and Amal are all wrapped up in their newlywed bliss, I will move in with my sleeping bag and sprawl in the romantic outdoors. Who needs to live in a 17th century mansion when you can lounge along the River Thames? Plus, the property is spread out over 5 acres, so once I figure out how to rent a boat, fake a British accent, penetrate the perimeter and get past the guards, I’ll go pretty much unnoticed.

Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban’s Farm

Again, not really “a backyard” as much as “an alpaca farm” but I’m pretty sure the only creatures on earth I’d like spend time with more than Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban would be alpacas, in all their fuzzy regal ridiculousness.

Patrick Dempsey’s Malibu Dream House

Barbie can keep her Malibu Dream House. I want Patrick Dempsey’s. It was designed in the 60s by Frank Gehry. You know, the Frank Gehry who designed THIS:

They even have a trailer in their backyard (the one from Grey’s Anatomy?) so I can seek shelter when it rains, which I imagine, would be never, in Patrick Dempsey’s outdoor wonderland.

The Obama’s White House Kitchen Garden

Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” campaign has added a lovely kitchen garden to the White House. Sneaking into the capital of the United States just to chill out in a garden might not be the easiest move but I’ve got this super useful chart from the Washington Post to help me out.

It seems to me like every fence jumpers’ mistake so far has been walking into the White House itself, where they got caught inside or on the North Lawn, but no one has ever been apprehended on the sprawling South Lawn, so I’ll bring my hammock and make myself at home.

Mark Ruffalo’s Upstate Estate

Mark Ruffalo has a pond…. so, count me in. Vegetable garden. Check. Eco-everything. Double-check. Open-minded, meditative stance on life? Triple check. Knowledge of plants for their medicinal purposes? Alright, alright already, I will come to visit and never leave.

Oprah’s Rose Garden

Oh, to live in Oprah’s magical garden! If there is one thing Instagram has taught us, it’s that Oprah LOVES gardening. She has hundreds of rose bushes, massive hydrangeas and a tea house draped in wisteria in her California home. In Maui she’s got all sorts of insane harvests or, as she likes to call them “veggie loot.” An army could eat healthy for lifetimes foraging in her yard.

Sting’s Italian Villa, “Il Palagio”

Sting actually rents out his Tuscany estate for private parties: swimming pool, life-size chess board, 10ft Buddha, grounds, woods, cottages and all. So what I need to do is get invited to one of those swanky events, fly under the radar for a few hours, then hide in one of the giant ancient wine barrels in the cellar. I could grow strong and healthy in his backyard ’cause they make wine, honey, olive oil and salami on the premises. Oh, and of course, I would join him for his morning yoga. “Il Palagio” has been around since the 16th century and on such a clean Mediterranean diet maybe I could stick around ’til the end of this one.

Jennifer Lawrence’s New Home

The place is charming, it’s been pre-owned by Jessica Simpson and Ellen Degeneres so it is celeb tested but let’s be honest, the real motivation here is to become best friends with J Law and have her teach me how to hunt and act and be an all around excellent human being!

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