This post was written by Anna Swartz on The Dodo.

“This is a good height, you can stop folding now.”

“I’m sorry, are you trying to sleep?”

“Who needs breakfast when there’s a cat waiting to be petted?”

“Do you really need to walk down this hallway?”

“I saved you a seat. Also, you can’t have it.”

“I don’t think you really want to read this book. It’s SO boring.”

“Some cats belong on thrones.”

“Thank you for warming this seat up for me.”

“I run this countertop.”

“Why are you looking at me?”