Megan Phelps
May 12, 2014 1:00 pm

I was born into a short family, so it’s no surprise that I’m short, too (5’1” OK, almost 5’1” OK, I’m five feet and three quarters of an inch! I lied. I’m sorry). But, I’ve grown accustomed to my height. And, in fact, I don’t actually feel very short. I mean, except when I have to ask for someone to reach the tea from the shelf above the stove. Because, you know, that happens. My grandma, at 5’2”, started early in teaching me the benefits of being short:

1. You can date short and tall guys – Now, being the modern forward thinkers that we are, this doesn’t matter much. But even so, we short girls can be new or old-fashioned in dating conventions.

2. You can become the person on a row boat who commands the rowers – (Google tells me that this position is called a coxswain, but that sounds vaguely like a farm animal, so I’ll stick with rowing commander person.) This is, I admit, a very obscure benefit of being short. But maybe the bigger point is that being short doesn’t stop my grandma from being the boss, nor should it stop you.

3. You can wear heels – Of any height, I might add. Okay, so heels can be horrible, but they can be a nice addition to an outfit or dress up that pair of jeans (I feel so cool to be speaking as though I’m trendy). I mean, anyone can wear heels of any height, but you can wear stilettos without towering over everyone, so that’s kinda fun.

4. People are inclined to do more for you – When you ask for the box of crackers on the top shelf in the grocery store, it makes whoever you asked immediately feel compassionate towards you. “Let me hold this door open for you,” they say, or, “Let me make sure that no large people trample your small frame.” Also, people are more inclined to be a little nicer around you, because you just look so innocent.

5. It’s easier to hem pants than to lengthen them – This is simply a fact of life.

6. You have the ability to weave in and out of crowds – It’s like a superpower in disguise.

7. There is a more dramatic change when you stand on the chair to make your point known – Maybe your point is that being short is better than being tall. Because, you know, you have this list to back you up. And it’s from the internet so you know it’s true.

8. You spend less money on food – Smaller person= requires less energy to live. Science.

And, mostly because I could go on and on but had to stop somewhere, but also because 8 is a few short of the standard 10, that concludes my list. Now, if you want to feel good about being short, you can just remember my sage words.

Featured image from Shutterstock.

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