Jonathan Zipper
March 24, 2013 5:00 am

They say that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Whether you’re celebrating with a fun and flirty trip to an exotic location, just goofing off or obsessing over NCAA March Madness, one thing is certain: Spring has sprung and the fever’s catching!

So before you hit up a screening of Spring Breakers with your most BFF of BFFs, check out all the wild stories you might have missed in another edition of The Week In WHAT?!

#GPOYfail

Let this be a lesson to any prospective iPhone or iPad thieves out there: if you’re trying to claim another person’s Apple product as your own, you might want to wipe it clean of any account information that links it to the original owner first. After leaving his iPad behind on an airplane, Allen Engstrom probably figured it was gone for good, never to be heard from again. That all changed when the lady who found it decided to keep it for herself under the universally recognized terms of “finders keepers, losers weepers.” She then proceeded to take a number of quirky selfies with the tablet. Unfortunately for her, the photo shoot was anything but private as Engstrom started to notice the pictures on his iCloud, which was linked to the lost iPad. Out of frustration, he opted to share a few of the images with some choice words on his own Facebook profile, and the posts went viral. Well, you know what they say about iPad karma…

Backstabbed All This Time?

There’s nothing like finally getting to scratch an itch in one of those impossible to reach spots on your back, but imagine you do so only to uncover… THE BLADE OF A KNIFE! That’s exactly what happened to a Canadian man earlier this week. In April 2010, Billy McNeely was caught up in a fight that broke out during an unusually heated arm-wrestling match. His counterpart stabbed him five times, and he was taken to a hospital, stitched up and sent home with a lump on his back that medical professionals chalked up to nerve damage — without taking an x-ray. Fast forward to 2013: the tip of the blade popped out while Billy alleviated the itchy, irritated “lump” and doctors wound up surgically removing a seven centimeters long blade from the spot. Backstabbing sure has its long term effects!

Is Science Getting Under Your Skin?

Speaking of things located underneath one’s epidermis, a group of scientists recently unveiled a tiny device that can electronically monitor and wirelessly transmit substance levels in the bloodstream once injected into a patient. The team from the Ecole Polytechnique Federale de Lausanne hopes the medical implant will lead to a better level of health care for those undergoing chemotherapy treatments or suffering from various chronic diseases. The battery patch will be located outside of the body, so surgery would not be required to change the power supply. Thankfully, we’ve yet to reach a Gattaca level of genetic discrimination. Yet.

Order Up: That‘s One Disgruntled Customer With a Side of Headlock!

We’ve all been there: sitting around a table at a local establishment with friends or family, patiently waiting for the meal to arrive. Waiting. Waiting some more. Asking the waiter how much longer it will be. Continuing to wait. Staring deep into the abyss formerly known as the kitchen while starting to feel like nothing is ever coming to the table. The group has a strongly worded exchange with the proprietors and then ultimately decides to head for the exit. That’s how a recent meal at Baltimore’s Liv2Eat allegedly began for one patron with his wife and young children. Except that things escalated quickly on their way out when the man entered into a physical altercation with the chef/owner. Customers eventually intervened and had to break up the fight after one of the men put the other into a headlock. Now, both men are pressing charges. Next time you’re in a similar situation, just post a snarky Yelp review instead. It’s safer… and cheaper.

And there you have this week in “WHAT?!” Can’t wait to see what’s in store for humanity next!

Image via Shutterstock.

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