Kit Steinkellner
October 31, 2015 1:19 pm

You guys. Halloween is arguably the most epically fun holiday in the calendar year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can have the Halloween vs. Christmas debate at a later date (but didn’t The Nightmare Before Christmas settle that score, #halloweenforever).

That said, when a holiday is as high-octane as Halloween, things are bound to go awry. That’s just how Big Days work. So what if something awkward DOES happen? What do you do? Lucky for you, you have a Halloween Fairy Godmother at your disposal (COUGH, that would be me) to magically straighten out all your holiday weirdsies. So, what are we waiting for? Let’s get things de-awkward-ified.

Five people show up to the party in the same costume as you

I know, I know. You wanted to be the only Harley Quinn in the club. Well, if that’s what you wanted, then you really should have dressed up as the Joker’s GF during a year when people WEREN’T losing their minds over Suicide Squad . So what do you do?

YOU EMBRACE THE CHAOS. Round up all the same costumes in the house and pose for group pics. I promise I would be SO much more likely to like an Instagram with 8 Scarlet Witches vs. one Wanda flying solo. If you celebrate your same-costumed compatriots instead of freaking out from embarrassment, I promise your Halloween will be exponentially better than had you just been the only Stormtrooper at your  party.

You’re left high and dry without any Halloween plans

Ugh, this is the adult equivalent of having no one to be field trip buddies with and being partnered with a teacher. It happens! Sometimes your normal group doesn’t do its thing, or you’re brand new in town and don’t have good friends yet, there are a million ways you can be left high and dry on the 31st.

You might have to just suck it up and text a few people, explain the sitch and ask nicely to be a tagalong. Or put out a Facebook PB saying “Augh, my plans fell through for Halloween, what are people doing tonight?

Or if that’s too uncomfy for you, just stay home, frost some cupcakes orange and black, and eat the whole batch while and watch Hocus Pocus/Halloween Town back to back. Actually, that sounds like an amazing Halloween, why am I going out again?

You were planning a couple’s costume… and then you and your person broke up

Ugh, this just happened to a friend of mine, it’s the bummer to end all bummers, and to compound the bummerness, in her situation, her ex is STILL going as their half.

So what do you do in this sitch? This is crunch time. Yeah, you don’t want to keep your half of the couple’s costume (unless it totally stands alone and you know for sure you’re not going to see your ex) so how do you regroup? You go big. You pick a costume that is super hilarious or terrifying or adorable and you commit like a demon. Living well is the best revenge. So is having a badass costume. Maybe you spend a little more time/cash then you thought you were going to. You’re spending for your pride and happiness! It’s all about the self-care, my loves. And someday I promise your heart will be less broken and you will be so glad you rallied and crushed it this Halloween.

You’re going to a haunted house/horror movie, but you’re a total baby and you’re afraid of being afraid of peeing your pants/doing something embarrassing out of fear

Here’s my trick for both haunted houses AND scary movies. In order to not get too scared, I put my critic’s hat on and get super judge-y about the acting. I swear this works. Also, in haunted houses, sometimes when a monster is creeping me out too much, I just start mirroring the monster and doing EXACTLY what they’re doing (growling/screaming/silently staring/whatever). It totally creeps them out and then they leave me alone. Remember, be they on the screen or hiding behind a styrofoam tombstone, they’re just actors. They’re more scared of you than you are of them.

You want to wear a risqué  Halloween costume, but you don’t want to get flack from your grandma 

No Facebook for your costumes. Grandmas/everybody are on Facebook. Maybe come up with a lame/tame Halloween costume in case Grandma asks questions and you need photographic evidence. As for the real deal, keep that ish on Insta and Snapchat, most grandmas aren’t there yet.

Happy Halloween, everybody! May you go forth and vanquish all the darkness/awkwardness.

(Image via Paramount)

Advertisement