Elizabeth Entenman
March 17, 2016 10:07 am
YouTube

Some songs were just made for getting down. But unfortunately, not all lyrics were. Some of the top tracks on your “In the Mood” playlist might not make total sense. The next time you’re feeling freaky, these songs will definitely help set the mood—but if you stop and take a listen to the lyrics, you might be left scratching your head. Here are 9 lyrics that talk about sex in a way that doesn’t really make sense.

“Motivation” by Kelly Rowland featuring Lil Wayne

“She my motivation, I’m her transportation / ‘Cause I let her ride, while I drive her crazy / Then I just keep going going like I’m racing / When I’m done she hold me like a conversation”

Weezy had me until he threw out the word “conversation.” Did he just need something that kind of rhymed with “motivation”? Not to tell you how to do your job, but here are some more fitting options: vacation, flirtation, libation, sensation, vibration, elation, fixation, starvation, litigation, duration, jubilation, federal bureau of investigation. Arguably all of those words could be substituted effectively to keep the theme of the song.

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“Trumpets” by Jason DeRulo

“Is it weird that your bra / Remind me of a Katy Perry song?”

Yes. Yes it is. We see where you’re going with this and we appreciate the reference (and love Katy Perry songs), but you said it yourself—it’s weird. Please leave KP out of this.

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“Pony” by Ginuine

“If you’re horny lets do it, ride it, my pony”

We get it. We love this song as much as the next person. But it will never not make us think of, well, a tiny horse. Which is not something you want crossing my mind when it’s time to get intimate.

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“Let’s Talk About Sex” by Salt-N-Peppa

“Her dates heads of state, men of taste / Lawyers, doctors, no one was too great for her to get with / Or even mess with, the Prez she says was next on her list”

This song was released in 1990. George H.W. Bush was president. We’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe the song was written as far back as 1988, when Ronald Reagan was in office. Still, neither of them seem quite like Salt and Pepa’s type. Maybe it’s a power thing?

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“Drunk in Love” by Beyoncé

“We sex again in the morning, your breastases is my breakfast”

Sorry Jay-Z, but there’s nothing sexy about calling them “breastases.”

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“Sex” by The 1975

“And this is how it starts / You take your shoes off in the back of my van”

Hang on. Why am I taking my shoes off? You say “take your shoes off in the back of my van” like it’s a normal thing that you’ve done with a lot of girls. Did you pass sex ed?

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“Birthday Sex” by Jeremih

“You close your eyes as I improv between your legs.”

So some yes and-ing, listening and eye contact, eh? Sexy.

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“Body Party” by Ciara

“I can do it slow now, tell me what you want / Baby put your phone down, you should turn it off”

This song is pretty steamy, so it’s a shame that Ciara has to stop and tell her man to turn his phone off. Kinda ruins the mood, no?

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“Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke featuring T.I. and Pharrell

“What rhymes with hug me?”

Robin poses the question, but never responds. Frankly, a lot of things rhyme with “hug me.” For example, “Pet flea” and “Did you watch Glee?” The entire song is pretty explicitly risqué, but this line is kinda out in left field.

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