7 things you should never feel bad about
We live in a world where unfortunately, a lot of people are going to be judging you just for being your own awesome self. It seems like as women, whatever we do comes packaged with a whole lot of side-eye and shame. What we wear, eat, how we act and what we choose to do in our spare time shouldn’t really be anyone else’s business, right?
I think Taylor Swift said it best when she said, “If you’re upset and irritated that I’m just being myself, I’m going to be myself more, and I’m having more fun than you so it doesn’t matter.”
And since we all know that T. Swift is the Queen, we listen to her. Don’t let people make you feel bad about these things.
Your love life
“Oh, you haven’t had a boyfriend in that long? So what’s the problem?”
Your love life is probably the most personal aspect of your life. Don’t ever succumb to single-shaming, or letting anyone tell you that how you choose to conduct your love life is wrong. Your family’s and friends’ opinions (and your own opinions) should be the only ones that matter: listen only to the people who genuinely have your best interests at heart, and block everything else out as white noise.
If you haven’t dated in a while, haven’t had a serious relationship, or if you’re dating around a lot and having a ton of fun, that’s all great and wonderful! Be safe, be you, and you’ll be all right.
Having a second, third, or fourth helping of anything!
Food is the reason we were put on this good green earth. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with ordering four tacos while everyone else at the table is ordering three. Do you want a third slice of pizza? I know you do! Order that slice, baby! Live it up.
Food and our bodies have a complicated relationship, and when we eat more than our friends eat, the tendency is to feel ashamed, but that only makes your body and heart feel worse instead of better. Eat healthy and all that, but indulge in your food fantasies sometimes with reckless abandon.
Staying home instead of going out
There comes a time when you’re out at night, or during the day, or really whenever, when all you really want to do is be in your jammies at home, eating popcorn by the handful and watching re-runs of Modern Family.
There are some people in the world who will think that going out is better than loving to stay home. These people will insist that their rowdy, uproarious social lives are superior to sitting on your couch every night. Fight the FOMO—if your favorite pastime is just unwinding at home, then those people are wrong.
Not that there’s anything wrong with having a vibrant social life, but don’t let people label you a loser or worse simply for loving to stay home. Home is sanctuary, and it should be appreciated for the haven and heaven that it truly is.
Brunching like a fiend
Oh hey, you’re going to brunch this weekend? Is it bottomless champagne? Can I come?
So you’ve gotten off your couch and suited up for a big brunch event with the girls, and because you’re feeling a little reckless and you just wanna dance, you’ve pulled your girlfriends up on those little pedestals and you’re dancing like no one’s watching!
But then one of your friends is all, “Get down from there. You’re making a fool of yourself.” Do you care? No! You feel comfortable and amazing up there, and you’re not going to make anyone let you feel bad about having a good time.
In the immortal words of some humor account on Twitter, “Why be moody when you can shake that booty?”
Being addicted to reality TV
I have always totally scoffed at the idea of a “guilty pleasure.” If you like something, there’s a reason you like it! You shouldn’t feel guilty about liking anything, and you shouldn’t have to qualify your love just to suit the uptight sensibilities of other people.
Instead, proclaim your love to the world, like I do. I unabashedly, shamelessly love watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and I even keep up with them in the real world! Why yes, I do follow them on Instagram and Twitter. Why yes, I did download their apps, thank you for asking!
No, I do not have time for your side-eye, or a 20-minute lecture about why I’m wrong for liking the things that I like. I have pleasures, and they’re anything but guilty.
Whatever you feel like wearing? It’s your business
There are some people who will immediately knock some points off your IQ if you show up in frilly dresses and high heels, because some people still view expressions of femininity as weakness. You know what I think? Queen Elizabeth I ruled England or 45 years, and she did it all wearing a hoop skirt, corset, and girdle, at the very least. Did she rock the world? Absolutely she did. Of course there are workplaces where you shouldn’t show up in full clubwear (most of them) but on your own time? You do you.
Femininity does not equal weakness. Wear your girly, girly clothes with pride. And if that’s not your thing, wear your overalls with pride. Wear your sneakers with pride. Whatever you wear, own it.
It’s so easy to get stretched thin by all your responsibilities, whether they’re work, school, your significant other, family or friends. You want to do the best you can and make sure to please everyone, but part of being responsible is knowing when to say no.
Know when you’d be sacrificing your own happiness just to make other people happy. If you do this all the time, you’ll start to go crazy, and it’s unhealthy. Sometimes, it’s best to say no because you can’t please everyone, and the most important person to take care of is yourself. You have to take care of yourself well so that you can take better care of the people you love.
[Image via YouTube]