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Karen Fratti
October 13, 2017 6:22 pm

One of the most disheartening things to hear from someone older than you when you confide in them about your love life is that you’re “too young” to know what you want from a relationship. Like, say what? How the hell does anyone but you know what you’re feeling and what’s going in on your relationship? While it’s true that we all learn through experiences over time, there are a lot of reasons to not doubt that someone is your person just because you’re still young. 

Because no matter how old you are, sometimes you just have to go with your gut.

And a lot of this being “too young to know any better” stuff is pretty subjective. What may seem too early for someone could totally be right on time for you. Listen, there are a bunch of reasons that you shouldn’t let being young make you doubt your feelings or your relationship with someone. Let us count the ways for you.

1What is too young exactly?

So, what’s the cutoff here? Like, do you need to be over 25 years old to fall in love? Have a post-graduate degree? Who is making these rules anyway? What else is on this checklist of knowing when to be in a relationship or not? If you’re feeling this other person and the relationship is making you happy, then keep going for it. “Too young” is way too vague a qualifier to let it define you.

2Your situation is yours alone.

Most of the time, people who care about us tell us that we’re “too young” to fall in love or think you’ve found your soulmate. They usually want to make sure we’re keeping our options open and not being myopic about where life is taking us. Honestly, that’s something to consider.

But if you’re partner is your cheerleader and makes you want to be the best your and all that good stuff, there’s really no reason to worry about being “tied down.” And what’s so bad about being tied up with your partner and making big life choices together anyway? If it’s coming naturally, go with the flow.

3Sometimes it’s a little sexist.

Or at least confusing AF. First, our society tells young women that their worth is inherently tied to their looks, which are supposedly meant to attract a partner. Then, if they’re still single by a certain age, there’s a whole other set of judgements thrown at them. Which is it? The moral of the story: All of the rules about what you should be doing with your life and when are complete BS. At best, they’re loaded with generations of sexist beliefs about a woman’s role in the world.

You kinda can’t win no matter what you do, so you might as well do whatever the f*ck you want.

4You will figure things out.

So right now, you think you’ve found your person even though you’re young. Maybe it will last forever. Maybe it won’t. The fact is that you can’t plan out your life perfectly no matter how hard you try and thing swill pop up along the way that will change you in ways you can’t anticipate.

The worst thing that happens by falling in love with someone is that you endure a lot of heartache later when it ends. Yes, that is terrible and hard, but it happens. And you’re a strong ass woman who will get through it somehow. Finding out you made a mistake in love is hard, but actually, quite worth it in the long run.

5Just trust yourself.

If you have people close to you that you know have your best interests at heart, listen to their advice. Listen to your own heart and that little voice in your head ringing alarm bells if necessary. But you know better than anyone else. Go with whatever works.

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