Tori Coyne
May 15, 2013 5:00 am

Have you guys heard of Facebook? Yeah, I guess it’s like this new website that lets you build profiles and stuff. Weird, I know. Since its creation, Facebook has had facelift after facelift. The way we interact has changed in a major way, as well. There are now videos and Facebook emoticons and emojis. It’s bizarre. About a year or so ago, Facebook acquired another hot app that helps us connect, Instagram. But don’t worry, y’all, FB isn’t stopping there.

Facebook is currently in talks to buy Waze. You may or may not have used Waze. It’s an app that allows you to beat the traffic, but it heavily depends on its users. Basically, you log into Waze and it tracks how fast you are moving in comparison to how fast you should be moving. It collects every single active user’s data and builds a complex traffic map. Then it navigates its way out of traffic for you. I’ve used it a few times and have had mixed results. Sometimes it isn’t very helpful, sometimes it is.

If Facebook were to purchase the app, it could probably be a good thing. Maybe more people would use it and then the traffic mapping would be better. I’m not entirely sure. But it got me thinking: What else might Facebook buy in the future?

I was definitely not a business major in college, but I decided to make a list of 5 apps I imagine Facebook will try to purchase in the near future, even if that app doesn’t exist right now.

1. Vine

Let’s face it y’all, this app is POPPIN. It seems like overnight everyone and their MOM had joined Vine and was posting videos of their cats chasing a string around their apartment. Vine is the new form of social expression. You can post your video to Facebook so they might as well just go on and buy it!

2. Uber

Just listen to this plan: Uber lets you find a cab in your area, right? Well what if it teamed with Facebook to also locate friends who might want to split that cab with you? LIKE, COME ON. Fool-proof plan!! You put in your location, it says there is a cab five minutes away and your friend Kelly is just one block away ALSO LOOKING FOR A CAB! You are welcome, world.

3. Snapchat

I’m not entirely sure how teaming with Facebook could make this world any better, but I think it is a good financial decision. Snapchat, like Vine, is hot, new and cool! I’m sure Facebook could make a great deal of money from buying this app and covering it with advertisements or something. I don’t know. I didn’t go to business school. I don’t understand these things.

4. A social healthy living app

I am always convinced that my plans to be healthy wouldn’t fail if there was someone there to hold my hand. But I also hate when people hold my hand and am a troll of the web. So I don’t exactly want to leave the comforts of my cellphone for positive reinforcement. Instead, I would love to join some sort of anonymous app where I can be in a little support group that tells me what I am supposed to eat to stay healthy and tells me I’m awesome. Sort of like the ‘Couch to 5K’ app!

5. An app that compiles adorable yet hilarious cat gifs/memes

This is exactly what the world needs. I’m sure this exists SOMEWHERE! I just couldn’t find it. I love cat memes/gifs. They are amazing and they make my insides hurt from happiness. I would love an app that just collects all of them from every different blog/website/etc. and puts them into one feed for me to scroll through endlessly. To me that is heaven. And I think it would be very successful!

So there you have it! Facebook, just, like, inbox me for my address to mail the check! You’re welcome!!!!

Featured image via Mashable.com

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