25 ways you know you're over 25
It’s safe to say your 20s are some of the most dynamic years of your life. They’re at first characterized by awkward dates, late-night ramen and having responsibilities that include keeping yourself alive and getting good grades. By the time your 30th birthday is looming, you’re more inclined to be in a steady relationship, sip cocktails made out of alcohol costing more than $11.99 a bottle, and be (at least a little bit more) financially secure. At what point does one become the other? As someone on the back half of the 20s party, I can tell you it happens so suddenly you don’t realize it until you take a moment to reflect. Here are 25 ways you can be certain you’re over 25:
- You get 2 weeks of vacation a year instead of three whole months
It’s hard to imagine that the standard vacation time for most of your life was an entire season.
- Your furniture is not completely IKEA
You’ve expanded your horizons and maybe own a dining table someone actually assembled for you. Although let’s be real — you still have a ton of IKEA furniture.
- You have a legitimate pantry
In college, your pantry had nothing but instant oatmeal and white bread. Now? You have three different types of olive oil and you don’t even know why (what does “Cold Pressed Extra-Virgin” even mean?)
- You naturally wake up at the same time every day
It’s cruel when your internal clock didn’t get the memo that it’s the weekend.
- You’ve done at least one deep purge of old Facebook photos
Raise your hand if your profile picture at one point included tequila being poured into your mouth from a little male statue’s private parts? Anyone?
- You wonder what is wrong with “kids these days”
Last summer I watched two high school girls lay by a pool and take selfies in non-stop for almost three hours. I can’t even.
- You have enough money to actually act upon your extreme wanderlust
Although now paid time off gets in the way (see #1.) You can never win!
- You can finally rent a car
- You know every song they play during “Throwback Hour” on the radio
It’s pretty glamorous being a 90s kid.
- You have a 401k
Prepping for graduation’s got nothin’ on prepping for a baller retirement!
- You drink because you enjoy it, not because someone threw a ping-pong ball in your cup
Not to say the latter doesn’t still occasionally happen, but chugging a microbrew with 6.2% ABV and 90 IBU’s is pretty unpleasant.
- You simultaneously receive three wedding and two baby shower invitations in the mail
Let the festivities begin!
- You wear earplugs to concerts
This can happen at any age of course, but have you ever read about live music and hearing damage? I’m serious!
- You remember life before [insert technology here]
I survived high school without an iPhone. I studied abroad and used a point-and-shoot camera with #nofilters. Can you imagine?
- You have no problem going to bed before 10pm on a Friday night
And thank goodness 85 percent of your friends are in the same boat, because going out is a lot of work.
- You are no longer driving the same car you did when you were 16
Who knew having automatic windows and a functional steering wheel could be so luxurious?
- Your parents expect you to contribute a food dish for family functions
So long, Christmas dinners when you can just veg out. Hello, Pyrex dishes.
- You discover how crazy expensive life actually is
Car insurance, health insurance, dental insurance, home insurance, LIFE INSURANCE!?
- You receive kitchen gadgets as birthday gifts, and are thrilled about it
If nothing else, I will always be equipped to throw the greatest of parties with my collection of cheese graters, spatulas and bamboo cutting boards.
- Your ten-year high school reunion has come and gone
Although you’ve been stalking everyone for ten years via social media anyways so there’s no surprises, really.
- You’re too old to shop in the juniors department at Nordstrom, yet still too poor to shop in any other department
I went to buy a dress online and read in the comments “My daughter loved wearing this for her 8th grade graduation!” Shopping bag abandoned.
- Your Pinterest is exploding with home renovation ideas.
You just don’t actually own a home yet…
23. You still have no idea what you want to be when you grow up.
Getting your BA in Contemporary Poetry was a questionable life choice, and that becomes more and more apparent with each month that passes.
24. You’ve decided your hometown is where you want to live.
That dreary suburb you grew up in has a lot of charm after all. And the crime rate is below average!
25. You’ve (kind of) got it figured out.
You understand quality versus quantity when it comes to friends. You understand that you have a lot to be grateful for. You understand that you’re smart, beautiful, and completely capable of achieving your goals. Being over 25 is actually pretty great.
Julie Lisac a PNW native currently living the SoCal life in sunny San Diego. Fifty hours a week she is a retail manager, and the other 118 hours she is an energetic goofball who loves traveling, bottomless mimosas, reading, and pretending to be an adult.