Rachel Paige
August 23, 2015 8:46 am

Last night, The Unauthorized Full House Story aired on Lifetime. It gave us a peak behind-the-scenes, showing what went on during Full House’s 192-episode series run, from its 1987 debut, to its 1995 cancellation. It was… interesting.

The thing about the cast of Full House is that they all really like each other. Like, really REALLY like each other, and they have all along. Since the show went off the air in 1995, the cast has continued to remain incredibly close, supporting one another along the way, showing up at weddings, and even agreeing to reprise their original roles in the Full House re-boot, Fuller House. If we’re looking to talk about a TV show with a ton of backstage drama, bickering, and back-stabbing among its cast, it’s not Full House. However, Lifetime has an Unauthorized Story to tell, and they discovered all sorts of juicy Full House material (that still may or may not have really happened).

Speaking to Entertainment Weekly, the producers of the show promised viewers that the show’s the real deal and that, “Everything in the movie happened. It really is the story.” Pulling from articles and interviews over the last three decades, they weave together a story depicting what (probably) went on behind the scenes.  Here are the 16 craziest things.

The original TV pitch for the show failed

It was originally called “House of Comics” about three stand-up comedians living together (According to Full House’s IMDB trivial, this is true). But during the pitch meeting for the TV show, ABC Network hated it and wanted something more family-orientated, so on the fly, Full House‘s creator, Jeff Franklin started spit-balling and explained that the “The main comic is a single dad. And he somehow gets by with the help of his two best friends.” And the ABC Network goes, “Like Three Men and a Little Baby?” and Franklin replies back, “We’re three men and THREE babies.” and ABC Network was like, SOLD!

Oh yeah, how well do you know your early 90s trivia?

The Full House Story is going to rely a lot on 90s things. Caller ID was HUGE, you guys.

Dave Coulier answers the phone a lot

Coulier (Played here by Justin Mader) has caller ID, and he always answers the phone with a different impression. Because he is a stand-up comic, and that’s just what he does, OK?

John Stamos has a flock of women following him at all times

I mean, this is John Stamos (played by Justin Gaston) we’re talking about. He was swoon-worthy back in the 90s, he is swoon-worthy today. But the Unauthorized Story shows us that he literally always had anywhere from 5-10 females just following him around like a shadow.

Yet, as we learn throughout The Unauthorized Story, all he wanted was real, true LOVE.

Bob Saget loves dirty jokes 

Let’s just be straight with this: Bob Saget (Garrett Brawith) played our TV dad, Danny Tanner, but he’s always been a stand-up comedian. If you’ve ever seen his stand-up (or read his book) you know that he does favor dirty jokes. And according to The Full House Story, everything that came out of his mouth was in one way or another a dirty joke.

Like, some tame-for-TV versions: “I’m a sexual athlete, not a fortune teller.” Or, “You’ve been on more hot women than sunscreen.” And Coulier telling him, “No one knows their way around a genitalia joke like you do.”

Saget tried to quit a billion times

Actual line from the movie, when Saget tells everyone that he “didn’t get into comedy to be popular.” He just wants to tell his own (dirty) jokes, and he can’t do that on Full House, let alone while the child actors are around. So he whines, complains, and storms off the set a few times. But thankfully Stamos and Coulier are able to talk him into staying.

Also, these guys are the three best friends that anyone could have

We always knew that Saget, Stamos, Colier were tight, but with The Full House Story they were their own wolfpack. They were always together, both on and off set. It appears as if the three didn’t have any other friends between 1987-1995.

But sometimes, they’d get into fights

Like, whipped cream fights! These guys never fought, unless they were fighting with canisters of whipped cream, in the Full House prop room, during a taping of the show, while the kids were taking too long to block their scenes! What wild and crazy guys!

Stamos and Lori Loughlin dated

When they first meet on set, Stamos and Loughlin (Stephanie Bennett) make emoji-heart-eyes at each other for what feels like 25 minutes. Their chemistry never really went away, and as Stamos tells everyone, he and Loughlin dated when they were “just kids.”

Once again, all Stamos wants is LOVE in his life.

D.J. strived to be normal

Candace Cameron (Shelby Armstrong/Brittney Wilson) was familiar with acting because her older brother, Kirk, was on Growing Pains. She wanted to be an actor, too. But then all she wanted was to be normal, and enrolled in a normal high school and stopped reading gossip magazines because they made her feel bad. 

She also once freaked out when she had to kiss, “Kevin” on the show. But, who is Kevin? Because it’s not Steve, AKA Scott Weinger. Instead, from some Full House digging, it looks that “Kevin” appeared in two episodes and played spin-the-bottle with D.J. once. This was her first kiss. And for dramatic effect, no, The Full House Story didn’t change this up to make it so that her first kiss was with STEVE. Missed opportunity, you guys.

The twins were nightmares to work with

Stamos tried to get The Olsen Twins fired because they kept on having dirty diapers. Then, they became the most recognizable female characters on TV, and suddenly everyone wanted to be in every scene with them. They also became millionaires before they were 7, and everyone was jealous.

The show was canceled moments before they started taping their final episode

And conveniently they just happened to have already written a two-part episode where Michelle falls off her horse, gets amnesia, can’t remember anything, and then Steve comes back to take D.J. to the prom. It’s like they knew they were going to get canceled.

Everyone died a little bit inside during Full House

The Unauthorized Story featured lots of long gazes off into the distance, where the cast wished their life was different. Stamos just wants some LOVE. Saget just wants to be a REAL COMEDIAN, not host America’s Funniest Home Videos. Jodie Sweetin just wants to play the bongos. The Olsens Twins’ mom just wants a nanny. Everyone was just so sad.

COMET IS MIA

The heart and soul of Full House is nowhere to be seen. However, a giant bear frequently appears in the background of some scenes, which I will take to be Mr. Bear.

They are all best friends

As ridiculous as The Full House Story was at some points, they got this one thing 100% correct: The cast was always close with one another. When they learn the show is canceled, suddenly they’re all in a big group hug. They feel like Cameron’s wedding (during a flash-forward to the future) is like a “family reunion.” So while not every thing was really accurate at all times, the Full House Story did really stress the idea that this show was a family more than anything else.

Uncle Jesse has nice arms

Most scenes include prominent shots of Stamos’ muscles, most of the time he was wearing a tank-top, and he was always wearing a vest. These are Full House facts.

(Images: Sergei Bachlakov/Lifetime.)

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