Stealing from your parents is not cool. Stealing Pop-Tarts from your parents is just plain immoral, especially if they were the S’mores variety, in my opinion. Latasha Renee Love had her son arrested a few days ago to teach him a lesson: we do not promote pastry theft in this house. The 13-year old (who, albeit had some disciplinary issues with the law and his mother in the past) was placed under arrest and is now facing misdemeanor larceny charges.
There’s just something about Pop-Tarts that brings the criminal out of a person; at least three cases in that last seven years were prompted by the toasty treats. In March, a 7-year-old was suspended from his elementary school in Maryland for eating a Pop-Tart into the shape of a pistol. In June 2009, two brilliant men asked a cop for a ride, who then searched them and discovered they had recently stolen a bunch of gadgets and a pack of Pop-Tarts. And finally, back in June 2006, a man from Utah stole some Pop-Tarts from a convenience store but then was run over by a pick-up truck before anyone caught him. Moral of the story? Just buy your own Pop-Tarts. They’re like, $4 at the grocery store.
1. This kid was arrested for opening his Christmas presents too early.
A 12-year-old’s mother actually called the cops because her son opened his Christmas presents too early and the police really arrived to the house and charged the boy with petty larceny for opening his gift.
2. A girl doodled on her desk and faced legal woes.
A 12-year-old girl was arrested for writing: “Lex was here” and a smiley face. With erasable marker.
3. Grandma is arrested for being ballsy.
Bad-ass Edna Jester, an 88-year-old woman, was arrested when she refused to return a football that landed in her yard. The neighbor’s football kept landing in her yard, and Jester just had enough; her neighbor called the cops and she was arrested for petty theft.
4. Farting is a crime, but we always knew that.
A high-schooler faced charges after he passed gas in the classroom and allegedly turned off some computers. It’s unclear if these two actions are interrelated.
5. A girl is faced with serious charges because she just wanted to eat her steak properly.
A 10-year-old in Florida brought some left over steak to school for lunch (because who actually wants to eat the slop in school cafeterias these days, right?) and obviously needed a steak knife. As soon as her principal saw this extremely dangerous weapon that was precociously slicing into some beef, he suspended the student for 10 days; she also faced a felony charge for possession of weapon on school property.
6. A guy is arrested for shouting at trees. Naked.
A 43-year-old was practicing some unorthodox stress-relief techniques that included running around in the nude and yelling at trees. He stated, “Feeling the breeze on my naked skin really calms me down,” but the cops didn’t care and arrested the poor guy for causing a public nuisance.
7. Kids are arrested for throwing some food at each other.
Dozens of school kids in Chicago were hauled to the police station for five hours because of an epic food fight. Are food fights still a thing? Is it just me or did every ’90s movie have an awesome food fight? I always secretly wish I was in a food fight.
8. A teen is caught texting, which annoys teacher into pressing charges.
A 14-year-old was texting during math, which pissed her teacher off so much that she called in security officers to come arrest the student under the charge of disorderly conduct.
9. A man is charged with felony for reading his wife’s e-mail.
We all understand this is a huge relationship faux pas, even when you suspect something fishy is going on, but being arrested for snooping through your significant other’s e-mail probably shouldn’t warrant 5 years in prison. The 33-year-old not only found out his wife was cheating on him, but was totally willing to put him jail for finding out!
10. A girl was arrested for dropping the ball cake. Literally.
A 16-year-old girl was in line at her school’s cafeteria and dropped a piece of cake. She didn’t pick it up, so the school security guard’s arrested her and accidentally broke her arm, too. So she’ll definitely think twice before having her cake and dropping it too.