10 Reasons This Column Makes Me Nervous
Hi, my name is Nicole and I am an over-thinker. You all just replied, “Hi, Nicole”, right? Right. An overthinker is a person who overthinks (duh). We figure out how a relationship will end before it begins. We take that one thing you casually said in a conversation and analyze it for weeks. We rehearse our takeout orders and create backup plans for our backup plans. We have trouble “letting things go” and “going with the flow”. Therefore, we tend to be a somewhat nervous people.
I, myself, am made nervous by many things. I’ve spent the past week trying to decide where to start. I wanted my first piece to be something relatable, but light. A good example of what the column will be, but somewhat introductory. Finally, after a long brainstorming session with a friend, she said, “This column makes you nervous.” And I was like, “Yes! Yes it does!” So friends, this is where we start. Here are the reasons why this column makes me nervous:
1. Decisions Are Hard
I struggle with decisions, particularly permanent ones. I have a minor panic attack every time I book a flight, because once I click “confirm”, there’s no turning back. Similarly, once I click “submit” on a post, it’s out there forever. Every decision I make regarding this column is permanent and that’s a bit scary. Speaking of scary. . .
.2. New Is Scary
New is scary, because it’s filled with uncertainty. I have no idea how this column will turn out or how it will be received. Though, like the wise (fictional) editor of Jazzhate.com (also fictional) once said (on an episode of Girls), “This is your comfort zone, and this is where the magic happens.” You can’t see the diagram, but the magic is happening outside of the comfort zone. While I by no means expect any kind of “magic” to happen in this column (I’m no Hermione Granger), I agree with the sentiment. So, let’s get uncomfortable!
3. People Will Think I’m Crazy
I am putting my weird thoughts and feelings out there for the internet to feast on. While I hope some of you will be like, “Omigod girl, me too!” I know some of you will be like, “Pshh, you crazy!” As a strong independent woman, I know I am not supposed to care about what other people think, but I do. I care. So, suck on that! Ay-yi-yi-yi-yay! (Trust falls into the crowd.)
4. Hateful Internet Trolls
Have you read some of the things people write in comments sections? People on the internet are mean! Though, they also have terrible grammar and nothing negates an opinion like poor grammar. So, if you’re going to personally attack me in the comments section of this thing, at least have the decency to screw up “your” and “you’re”, okay?
Typos happen. I hate them, but they happen. There is probably one in this post. I won’t notice it until it’s already posted and it will haunt me forever, like that one time I spelled Retta’s name wrong.
6. Accidentally Offending Someone
There is no reason this column should ever offend anyone, but that doesn’t mean it won’t. If I were to write a post about how spiders make me nervous, you know there’s a tarantula breeder out there who will find it personally offensive to his way of life. It’s going to happen. It’s unavoidable, but it still makes me nervous because who wants to be on the shit list of a tarantula breeder?
7. Accidentally Plagiarizing Someone
I read a lot. I am, of course, referring to tweets, Facebook statuses and other articles on HelloGiggles. I read so many words in a day, I don’t always remember reading all of them or where they came from. I fear one day I will mistake something I read as my own original thought and accidentally plagiarize someone. If teen dramas have taught me anything, it’s that plagiarism is a serious offense and my parents will kill me if I get kicked out of school. While we’re on parents. . .
8. My Mom Is Going To Read This
And subsequently post it to her Facebook page. Soon enough, everyone I’ve ever met will have seen it. I’m the kind of person who would rather give a speech to a room full of strangers than people I know. It’s nerve-wracking that people I interact with on a daily basis are reading these things I write, forming opinions on me based on them and perhaps discussing them in my absence. I guess it’s unavoidable, though. So. . . shout out to all of mom’s yoga buddies! Killer downward dog.
9. Coming Up With Ten Things Each Week
I’ve designed the column so that each week I will list ten reasons why something makes me nervous. That means, for the sake of continuity and my OCD, I will need to come up with ten things each week. This makes me nervous because what if I can only come up with eight or nine reasons why something makes me nervous? Will I have to scrap the entire piece? Will it throw the universe into chaos? What then?
10. I Only Came Up With Nine
I guess we’ll all survive.
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