The 7 commandments of not wearing a bra in public
We’ve all experienced the pure, unadulterated pleasure of taking a bra off after a long, exhausting day, and maybe we’ve gone braless around the house to give our girls a break. Some of us have even stepped out into the big, wide world, sans bra — Jennifer Lawrence included. In fact, last night, she rocked a skin-tight black bodysuit without a bra while attending CinemaCon 2016 in Las Vegas. Naturally, she looked great.
But you don’t have to be a celeb to live in No Bra World. Despite what magazines may tell you, you don’t have to have a certain boob size, nor do you have to wait for certain weather. There are, however, seven *very* important commandments of not wearing a bra in public. So take heed, for I shall bring you out of the land of Bradom, out of the house of bondage.
1. Thou shalt not wear an itchy material.
Listen, it’s rad to let your girls free in public, but let’s be real: Your nipples will NOT be happy with you if you wear that scratchy wool sweater all day. Pick something that pampers ’em.
2. Thou shalt be careful around furry beasts.
If there’s a jumpy dog around, and you’re in need of dog kisses, keep one arm up to guard your chest because OUCH. Same with an anxious cat — there’s no padding to keep your boobs away from those claws.
3. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s boob size.
Maybe after going braless, you feel uncomfortable about the size of your breasts, whether they’re “too big” or “too small.” Maybe going braless increases your awareness about what you were born with, and what other women around you were born with. But one of the biggest commandments about going braless in public is to never, ever compare yourself to someone else. You are perf just how are you are — and so are your twins.
4. Thou shalt not run up stairs.
Unless you want your entire chest to hurt for the rest of the day, that is.
5. Thou shalt be careful while choosing the bag thou dons.
Pause when you’re getting ready in the morning: If you’re going braless, do you *really* want to wear that satchel that goes across your chest? Maybe use the backpack today instead.
Just make sure there’s no cat in it.
6. Thou shalt never apologize for thou’s braless-ness.
Your letting your tatas free may make some people uncomfortable, but that’s not your problem — it’s theirs. It’s not your fault that they seem to have such a problem letting go of seriously patriarchal societal constructs, so just flip your hair at them and go back to enjoying the lack of painful underwire and itchy lace.
7. Thou shalt do whatever the heck thou wants.
If you suddenly feel uncomfortable about not wearing a bra in public and want to put on a sweater to cover up, go ahead — it doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself or are any less of a feminist. And if you want to go braless for the rest of your life, do it.
No matter what you decide to do, it’s your body, your boobs, and your choice. And no matter what you choose, you’re fabulous.