These kids got to taste 100 years of candy, and we can’t believe we weren’t invited

We see how it is, Bon Appétit. This week the food magazine brought in a group of cute and remarkably well-dressed children (and not us — loyal fans, readers, and tax-payers) to test out 100 years of candy.

The kids tasted candy from the past ten decades, and despite our overwhelming jealousy, we have to admit that they gave some pretty good feedback.

The ’30’s seemed great, candy-wise. We had never heard of Valomilks before, but they look delicious and received rave reviews. We’re also so down for anything called a Salted Nut Roll.

And while we may be biased, we think it’s safe to say that the ’90s were the Golden Age of whimsical candy. Gushers EXPLODE, and Baby Bottle Pops are a candy ~AND~ a toy. Candy Buttons? Nice try, ’80s. Get on our level.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfmHi9U9bwM?feature=oembed

Rum balls– the candy equivalent of moth balls, or the plastic your grandparents use to cover their furniture – were universally panned. In all fairness to rum balls though, they’re from the ’40s, a decade where candy-making really plummeted on our list of national priorities. (See, Bon Appétit, this is the kind of maturity and historical context we could have brought to the tasting).

As usual, nobody knew what to do with jawbreakers. Personally, we’re only a fan of the movie.