Kate Moss Turns 50 Shades of Beet Red

Kate Moss once said: “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” And as I sit here eating my Starbucks Veggie Artisan Sandwich, I BEG TO DIFFER. Kate Moss and I have little to nothing in common (including a penchant for food), but that doesn’t stop me from loving everything about her.

Case and point: This video of Moss reading an excerpt from 50 Shades of Grey:


Moss agreed to read from the erotic novel after the good people of Great Britain raised over £200,000 for the Comic Relief charity during Radio 1 DJ Nick Grimshaw’s morning show. (Side note: One Direction contributed to the same charity by recording a cover of Blondie’s “One Way or Another,” so in comparison, this is FAR, FAR more valuable. Even though I secretly/not-so-secretly think they are adorable. Also, their song “Kiss You” has become a welcomed addition to my gym playlist.)

Some things:

1. She does not age.

2. She’s such a babe. Even in a jumpsuit.

3. Her voice is unfairly raspy. I smoked for ten years and was more man-child than sexpot.

4. She TOTALLY turns 50 shades of beet red at the end, does she not? For someone who has spent the majority of her life being all saucy and naughty in front of the camera, I find it hilarious that reading one paragraph of housewife smut renders her squeamish.

I. Don’t care. What my teachers say. I WANNA BE A SUPERMODEL! (Not really. But I would TOTALLY Freaky Friday with Kate Moss for a week. Then I’d need to go back to eating.)