Kaitlynn Carter got candid about falling in love with Miley Cyrus and having to label her sexuality

In a November 4th op-ed for Elle, Kaitlynn Carter writes about falling in love with friend Miley Cyrus, whom she did not name in the piece, and being open with herself about her sexuality. She says that up until she entered into her relationship with Cyrus, she wasn’t even aware that she was “capable of loving a woman the way I loved her.” Then again, she writes, she never gave her romantic-partner “type” that much thought. It’s a candid piece that feels so relatable in terms of our society’s desire to put a brand on individuals’ sexualities while we all just want to live as our authentic selves.

Until now, Carter has remained relatively quiet while tabloids and fans have speculated about her relationships. Now, she’s been given a chance to speak for herself, in her own words.

"This past July, I went on vacation with a female friend; the next thing I knew, I was in love with her," Carter opens her piece. "It wasn’t quite that simple, of course. But it also wasn’t very complicated, either."

“I know I’m not alone in feeling pressure to explain or define myself in one way or another,” Carter adds.

In the piece, Carter mentions that Mark Ronson was recently “lampooned” for identifying himself as a sapiosexual, someone who is attracted to intelligence rather than gender. “I also find myself attracted to people in a way that seems disconnected from sex and physical traits, and more connected to a person’s mind,” she says.

"Technically I could label myself a number of ways," Carter writes. "Or on second thought, not at all. Why are we so hellbent on defining each variation of sexuality, anyway? We’ve become a society of labels, even as we claim to be more open-minded than ever."

Carter tells the story of her relationship with her “friend,” who seems to clearly be Cyrus, which evolved after both women respectively split from their husbands, Brody Jenner and Liam Hemsworth.

“Shortly thereafter, as my friend and I spent that August traveling through Europe together and trying to move past our respective break-ups, my first and only romance with a woman was born,” she writes. She and Cyrus posted photos of their vacation on Instagram in August.


Carter writes that she fell for Cyrus, whom she had been friends with for three years prior, and their love felt so natural: “It just happened and it felt exactly right.”

Carter adds that she had always felt an attraction to her, yet “programmed” herself to ignore the attraction as something romantic.

"I still don’t feel like I’m in a place to label my sexuality one way or another, but I’m okay with that," Carter writes. "It’s something I’m still exploring and figuring out...Even I don’t entirely understand what my experience this summer means for me going forward—and it’s my experience."

Carter also refuses the tabloid narrative that her relationship was a “summer fling” or “same sex affair.” Instead, she calls it “a profound journey of self-discovery.”

In the interview, she also discussed her prior long-term relationships, including her 2018 marriage to The Hills: New Beginnings star Jenner.

"He was quite possibly the most beautiful man on the planet, with a heart of gold and a tireless sense of adventure," she writes of Jenner. "I was drawn to his spirit...He became my best friend, and together we had all the fun the world had to offer."

She sensed their relationship was coming to a close as summer 2019 neared. Carter began traveling on her own or with friends, and “quietly mourning what I knew in my heart would soon be the end of my marriage.” She and Jenner ultimately split in August 2019.


Carter’s piece urges readers to spend some time with themselves to better understand who they are rather than who they have shaped themselves to be based on what they’ve been taught by society. Peel back the layers, Carter implored, and “remain curious.” We’re glad Carter is speaking up for herself, her experiences, and her sexuality. She’s refusing to be defined by others, and we have to applaud her.

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