So rumor has it that Justin Bieber is secretly a reptile, which, sure, sounds legit
It seems like conspiracy theories are absolutely everywhere lately. From #fakenews to actual fake news, it’s pretty hard to tell what’s true these days. But we’re pretty sure the rumor about a reptilian Justin Bieber is fake. So how did the “Justin Bieber transformed into a giant reptile” theory get started? Well, depends on if you’re a believer believer or not.
If you buy into the theory, it all started when, according to PerthNow.com.au, hundreds of fans allegedly saw Bieber go full reptilian. If you, uh, don’t, then it seems fair to assume it started when YourNewsWire.com posted an article about the “shapeshifting” star featuring a (doctored) screenshot of a “scrubbed from the internet” PerthNow.com.au article.
This screenshot, to be precise.
They didn’t just get the headline — they also got the text of the article, which claims that Bieber’s “head shrunk and his eyes went black with a black stripe down the middle. He grew a few feet taller and had gross coloured scales all over his body. It happened so fast but everyone saw it and started screaming and crying.”
Seems about right.
Especially for a site that also claims Queen Elizabeth shapeshifted on live TV. Oh, yeah, and that “a group of shapeshifting reptilian humanoids determined to control the world” called the Babylonian Brotherhood are now ushering in the New World Order. (JBiebs is, of course, a member of this ruling class. Duh.)
For the record, PerthNow is denying everything.
They’re claiming the article never existed on their site. “Clearly the ‘article’ screenshotted did NOT appear on PerthNow. Ever. There is no full URL and we don’t use capitals for every word in headlines,” editor Emily Moulton told Mashable. Buzzfeed also talked to Ben Martin, head of digital content. They wrote:
Ben Martin, head of digital content, denied publishing it (but of course HE WOULD) and said that after a search of their CMS there was no mention of Bieber’s “cold-blooded antics. “I’m sad to say that we did not publish that piece, he said. Martin said Perth Now doesn’t use upper case on the first letter of every word in its headlines (“that’s for Ridiculous Conspiracy Theory Websites); there was no full URL published “although our Illuminati Google Overlords could probably do a CTRL-X on that; and the weather forecast for the day was wrong.
As Buzzfeed points out, the only real “proof” for this theory is that, if any proof ever did exist, it’s been wiped off the face of the World Wide Web.
But isn’t the kind of debunked?
You know, considering all of the still-live articles discussing the theory?
Look. Obviously JBiebs isn’t a giant lizard. But it doesn’t stop the whole thing from being kind of a fun story, right? Twitter sure seems to be having a blast.
"fans were distressed after witnessing justin bieber shapeshift into a lizard at perth airport" pic.twitter.com/SYToEBPLwS
— billy joel (@sntrhan) March 16, 2017
false
was supposed to go to uni but instead I'm sitting on my bedroom floor 2 hours deep into the Justin Bieber is a reptile conspiracy theory
— 🥵 kish 😵💫 (@kish_lal) March 16, 2017
false
where do I apply to be an illuminati reptilian person like Beyoncé and Justin Bieber? pic.twitter.com/upyKm5xKRl
— trent (@TrentonWSmith) March 16, 2017
Just to be safe, though, in case there is something to it…. We think giant reptilians are very cool. And we, for one, welcome our new reptilian overlords.