How You’ll Know if He or She Really is “The One”

There’s a reason they call significant others “your better half”: The love of your life should bring out the best in you in a way that almost no one else is able to—it’s a pretty amazing thing. Rather than try to change you into someone you’re not, the right person will love you for who you are, and that love will make you want to be the best you can be. It’s a virtuous circle: You try to be awesome, they love you more, they try to be better, you love them more, and on and on until you’re sometimes so happy it’s almost gross. That’s what finding “the one” feels like. Here’s how you’ll know.

1. You feel more comfortable with them than almost anyone else

Your walls have come down, and you don’t feel the need to impress them. You are entirely yourself, and they are entirely themselves, and even when you’re awkward or weird around each other, it doesn’t make you feel embarrassed (well, maybe just a little).

2. You’re supportive of one another without competition or jealousy

You are always, always happy when they achieve their goals, and vice versa, and you know that your relationship isn’t a competition. There is no envy, just celebration: You genuinely want to see each other to succeed.

3. You actually want to work through your problems

Making an effort to acknowledge issues in your relationship means that you actually want to fix them, and your love for your partner outweighs your need to be right. Relationships take work, and what sets the flings apart from the serious stuff is a willingness to put in that work. If someone matters to you, you will fight for them.

4. You still get butterflies when you see them

A long-term relationship isn’t a walk in the park, but when you still feel the same excitement you felt in the beginning, you know it’s something special. You never stop enjoying the pleasure of their company, and you (almost) always feel lucky to be with them.

5. Even boring things are more enjoyable when you do them together

From washing the dishes to hanging out in bed on your laptops, the most mundane activities become fun when you’re with them.

6. When you think about your future, you can’t imagine it without them

Not out of dependence, but because they’re such an integral part of your life that you just want them to be there, experiencing all the little joys and failures by your side.

7. They’re the first person you want to talk to about everything

Whether it’s good news, bad news, or that totally random epiphany about puppies you had on the subway, you immediately want to talk with them about it. They’re your BFF and your confidante, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

8. But you feel equally comfortable sitting in silence

You don’t feel like you have to fill the silence with meaningless conversation, because you’re both happy just being together. There is no pressure to talk non-stop (even though you mostly talk non-stop), and your time together always feels meaningful and awesome.

9. Everything feels better knowing they’re in your life

You’re happier, you’re more forgiving, and things just feel a little brighter. You’ve found your person in this life, and that’s pretty wonderful.

Want more about true love?

All this month, along with folks from the movie The Best of Me, we’ll be celebrating love and friendship and people who make us feel amazing. Instagram us with a picture of the person brings out the best of you (@HelloGiggles using the hashtag #TheBestOfMe) and you’ll be entered for a chance to win an amazing gift bag (worth $250!) featuring an array of treats that’ll help you be your best self. Check out our contest page for more information here!

The Best of Me comes to theaters starting October 17.