Introducing the Gluten-Free Girl Scout Cookie
Let me start by saying that I’m a gluten-free cookie monster. Since becoming gluten-free, I can’t eat every cookie I come in contact with, but my love is as strong as ever. Cookies mean a lot to me. It needed to be said.
Here’s an awesome headline I just read: Gluten-Free Girl Scout Cookies Coming to a Troop Near You. Celiacs rejoice! The sentence construction is a little sneaky, though. Here’s what it really means: this year, when you order Girl Scout Cookies in certain markets, there’s an added option of Gluten-Free Chocolate Chip Shortbread. While we can’t actually have gluten-free Tagalongs and Samoas, it’s a start.
I’m gluten intolerant. I don’t know if I’m officially Celiac, but I don’t eat wheat because it makes me sick. To be honest, I don’t know if I would order gluten-free Chocolate Chip Shortbreads, because I can find “safe” cookies at most grocery stores near me – flavors that go beyond chocolate chip shortbread that I don’t have to wait two weeks for. But then again, I just might, because I’m not the Grinch and I don’t know the last time I had a Girl Scout Cookie.
In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have gluten intolerance (or maybe, gluten wouldn’t be so bad for us). In a perfect world, Josh and Cher also wouldn’t be former step-siblings, but I digress. Being gluten-free is great. I’m happier, healthier and I’ve become more knowledgeable of what food I’m putting in my body. That’s the reason I don’t usually opt for the overly processed gluten-free items with a laundry list of ingredients. But when I’m craving flavors of my favorite former snacks, I whip up my own or indulge in Tate’s chocolate chip cookies. While I love being gluten-free, here’s my wishlist of cookies I wish I could nom on.
Sweet mother, if I don’t miss the days of scarfing down an entire package of Oreos in one sitting. I was never into different flavors, and though it’s controversial, I never liked Double Stuf (the cookie-to-cream ratio was off, and don’t get me started on the spelling). I used to spend my Saturdays with 30 Rock on Netflix and Oreos, stuffing them into my mouth two at a time like I was bulking up for football season. Those were the days. Glutino makes an imitation version, but there’s nothing like the original.
I am crazy for peanut butter. It makes me weak in the knees. Since going gluten-free, my only substitute for Nutter Butters is to just eat spoonfuls of SunButter, and it’s actually working pretty well.
Here’s the part where I share my weird story about how I used to eat Teddy Grahams. I used to get a bowl, fill it with Teddy Grahams and then on the rim of the bowl, I put three dollops of “dipping sauce”: peanut butter, whipped cream and honey. And you know how Teddy Grahams come in two shapes, one with their arms up, legs together and one with their arms down, legs apart? I used to make them stand in front of each other and swap them back and forth really fast so it looked like one bear was doing jumping jacks. I did all of this this until like, last year, when I had to stop eating them. Neat times.
Keebler E.L. Fudge Cookies
These cookies remind me of my childhood. Can you even still buy them? I’m not one to split apart sandwich cookies, but I made an exception for these bad boys, as the fudge inside is fudge of the gods. I could really go for a gluten free version right now. Any leads? Please be in touch.
There are animal crackers, the snacks with exaggerated features that look like they have elephantitis. Then there are animal crackers that are actually cookies that we still call animal crackers, which often come in a red Barnum & Bailey box with a string handle and have fine detailing and a graham cracker taste. The white/pink frosted animal crackers (cookies) with sprinkles are extra fancy, if you’re fancying a splurge on your grocery shopping trip. I miss you, animal crackers/cookies.
Ritz Bits Sandwiches with Cheese
These aren’t cookies, but I’m including them as extra credit anyway. Because holy #%*& they’re the best.
Girl Scout Cookies officially go on sale starting Friday, February 7th. Click here to see where you can buy Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Shortbread Cookies.
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