The internet is freaking out over these “clear knee mom jeans”

We’re not sure if pleather-loving Cher Horowitz from Clueless would adore these pants or say they’re a full-on Monet, but Topshop’s new “clear knee mom jeans” are causing mass panic on the internet.

Part of the brand’s newest denim collection, the “clear knee” or “clear panel” jeans — they go by different names on the Nordstrom and Topshop websites — are exactly what you’re picturing. High-waisted, acid wash, with a clear, rectangular panel of plastic across the knee. And oh yeah, they’re cropped above the ankle for good measure.

Basically they’re what people in the ’80s pictured when they imagined what ~jeans of the future~ would look like.

You can get them here (if you dare) for $95.

Unsurprisingly, once the People of the Internet got wind of these pants, they went into meltdown mode.

These are actual jeans you can buy at @Nordstrom that cost $95.

Called Clear Knee Mom Jeans.

We are truly living in the dark time line. pic.twitter.com/vv9flwQeXx

— Jed Whitaker (@Jed05) March 13, 2017

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thin people clothes are wild https://t.co/oYAUm5WLdM via @tanya_chen

— ariel, another fat Black person (@kiddotrue) March 14, 2017

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Keep seeing those clear plastic, knee mom jeans and let me tell you that is the least of Topshop's denim crimes. https://t.co/Jzy8MAerbT pic.twitter.com/ee1S2nAA8M

— Samantha Powell (@sdpowell1) March 13, 2017

Next time you think you're failing, remember that someone thought mom jeans w/ clear knee panels was a good idea pic.twitter.com/ERTvqhBJE2

— Anxiety Girl (@AnxiousGrlGuide) March 13, 2017

And the reviews on Nordstrom’s website? Even better.

User rafandchild offered this bit of total hilarity:

“These are great, it allows me to safely slide across the living room floor so I can perform that scene from risky business safely. Not to mention the ladies at the breastfeeding club have all remarked on how slender and attractive my knees are. It’s a head turner, the high waistband allows me to navigate Tupperware parties and hours of conversations with others mothers about how gifted my child is and how the baby can sign things like food, milk etc … my child is gifted. I spilled milk on myself and it glided right off my pants. A must get.”

LadyPrincessKnees is thankful she can still show off one part of her high school bod:

“My tummy after pregnancy keeps me from wearing shirts that bare my mid-drift, breast feeding my three boys have deflated my once once bountiful ‘lady lumps’ so no halter tops for me any more. Thank god I still have my sexy knee caps from high school and now an actually reason to buy these jeans so I can show them off to the world!”

And NoMoreBreezyKneezys offered this insight on “mom trends”:

“Being a mom, I’m used to being offered top rate trends before they are available to the masses, and these jeans are no exception. Whether acting coy while having my knees checked out by the dads at the playground, or showing off the sexiest part of my body in the frozen foods section of the supermarket (without getting the chill I would get if my knees were bare) these jeans will make you feel like a million dollars — so $95 is a relative bargain. Get them now, moms — before your teenage daughter gets them making the style obsolete!”

Oh internet, you never fail to massacre trends before their little plastic wings can set them soaring.