I’m a serial bridesmaid-here’s what it taught me about weddings
I always wanted to be a bridesmaid. I remember being 13 years old at friend’s sleepovers giggling about what it would be like to be in a wedding. “Oh my god, you’re totally going to be in my wedding!” we’d all tell each other. It was and is a badge of honor to be in someone’s wedding. You were important enough to be in one of the big events of your friends life. Now,at 26, I’ve had that dream come true multiple times. Like 27 Dresses level multiple times. I am what you might call a “serial bridesmaid.”
In the past couple years alone, I’ve been a bridesmaid in three weddings and a maid of honor in another. I was asked to be a part of another three weddings and had to turn them down due to scheduling. That means so many bachelorette parties, bridal showers, wedding gifts, and hours spent soothing nervous friends with champagne. I mean, one time I went to a Bridal Show with some girlfriends who were getting married, and I knew almost every vendor there. Most of them knew me by name. Here’s what I’ve learned about love and relationships in my years of being a serial bridesmaid.
It’s actually so fun and important to be in someone’s wedding
There’s a lot of guff out there for bridesmaids. There’s the old “always the bridesmaid, never the bride,” and a litany of complaints about bridesmaid dresses. And sure, it can get expensive and emotions run high. But at the end of the day, it’s still so amazing to be a part of someone’s wedding. You feel like you’ve won the friendship Oscars. Out of all the people your friend could have chosen, they feel confident that you’ll be their needed support on their special day.
Being there for your friend is more important than anything else
This is something that I’ve always understood. As a bridesmaid, my duty is to make the bride’s job easier, not harder. Has that meant wearing some pretty heinous stuff? Sure. Have I had to go taste test five different types of sandwiches because the bride is gluten-free? You bet. Have I actually held the dress of the bride while she went to the bathroom? Every. Time.
But above and beyond gifts and dresses and frills, the most important part of being a bridesmaid is showing up. It’s being there for the little things as well as the big things. It’s making sure your friend keeps her focus on having fun and being with people she loves. No wedding day is going to go as planned. That’s OK! Perfection is not the point.
Remember to have fun
While being a bridesmaid is a lot of work, I’ve never had to remind myself to have fun. On the big day, everyone is happy. Everyone hugs you and says you looked great, that your speech made them cry, and that they never thought the bride and groom could look more in love. You were a part of making that happen. I’ve made some of the best friends I could have ever wanted while being in wedding parties. Some of my favorite memories are from planning bachelorettes over cheesy movies and popcorn. Despite the work, it’s all worth it in the end. It’s worth the frustration of coordinating schedules for bachelorettes, or blowing $300 on a dress you will most certainly never wear again (even if you shorten it) if it means you got to have a tiny part in making your best friends day spectacular.
Being a Serial Bridesmaid is not a bad thing, it means there are a lot of people out there who care about you, and want to share the most important day of their life with you. That’s a pretty amazing honor.
When Kate Brown isn’t busy being a bridesmaid, she can usually be found outside planning her next adventure. If you want to see what Kate is up to, you can follow her on Twitter (@kay_tea), or if you fancy seeing endless amounts of filtered pictures of her cat, Leia, you can follow her on Instagram (@kay_tea77).
[Image via 20th Century Fox]
