If Google Were A Man, He’d Be Russell Brand

If you’ve been anywhere near the media or any social networks lately, you probably would have heard about Russell Brand’s recent rant about revolution. Some dismissed it as the ramblings of a recovering addict, while others attributed a Gandhi-like wisdom and grace to his words.

Me? I confirmed my long-held opinion that if Google were a man, he’d be Russell Brand.

Here’s why:

1. When you give him a gap, he takes it and runs with it.

Me: “Do cats … ”

Google: Fart? Dream? Cry? Blink? Get Periods? What?

Russell Brand on meditation: “I told her (Katy) once, perhaps unwisely in retrospect, that I thought that during meditation I was receiving messages from extraterrestrials.” (Ellen interview, 2010)

2. If you look for it, you’ll easily find his sleazy/sexual deviant side.

3. He loves cats and yoga.

4. They both love(d) Katy Perry. One (guess which) has quite a comprehensive photo album of her.

5. He’s more intelligent than you.

6. Just when you think you have him figured out, he surprises the heck out of you.

7. He doesn’t vote.

8. You’ll never even scratch the surface of what he’s capable of.

9. He thinks your questions are dumb and responds with just the right amount of sarcasm.

10. He knows a lot big words.

11. He’s not afraid to tell it like it is.

Google: Itchy? Headaches? Nausea? Oh, right. You’re dying.

Newsnight with Jeremy Paxman:

Jeremy: “I wouldn’t argue with you about any of them.”

Russell: “Then how come I feel so cross with you? It can’t just be because of that beard, it’s gorgeous.”

Jeremy: “You are a very trivial man.”

Russell: “Trivial? A minute ago you were having a go at me because I want a revolution. Now I’m trivial?!”

12. He partners with the media, but only because he has to.

So there you have it! A dozen, reasonably (kind of) solid reasons why if Google were a man, he’d be Russell Brand.

Cassandra Lane is an Australian freelance writer and the editor of Happiness + Wellbeing magazine. Despite her best efforts, she falls asleep during meditations, hits her head a lot during yoga and curses like a sailor. Cassandra’s dream is to inspire individuals across the globe to take complete and utter responsibility for their health, happiness and well-being and to transform their dreams into reality. Or at the very least, take a sip of green juice. You can connect with Cassandra via Twitter, www.hwmag.happyplanetapps.com or Facebook.

Featured image via Shutterstock.

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