I love weddings, but I don’t want one for myself

When I was younger, I overhead someone say, “If you don’t want to plan a big wedding, then you’re not ready to get married.” I disagree with this statement immensely. To me, a wedding does not define a marriage or the degree of love, desire, or intent that you have to spend the rest of your life with your partner. A wedding is a celebration, and everyone celebrates differently. Some people have potlucks, some people have elaborate parties, and other people have solitary moments of joy, excitement, or anticipation by themselves

You might be quick to assume that I am a bitter, single, cat-lady. While the latter is true, I am anything but single, as I am currently engaged to my boyfriend of 9 years. However, I have never — and likely will never — be a girl who wants a wedding, and here’s why:

I’m shy.

So, I know there are plenty of shy brides out there who have thrived on their wedding day, but I just don’t think I can be one of them. I hate having all the attention placed on me. It makes me anxious, embarrassed, and feeling vulnerable — despite it being a day of celebration.

I’m cheap, when it comes to celebrating.

It goes without saying that weddings are expensive. However, I’m one of those people who would feel better using wedding money on something other than a group celebration or party. Give me something that I’d enjoy more, and I’d be all up for dropping a few — be it a honeymoon, new apartment swag, or a gift both my new husband and I can enjoy.

I don’t have that many friends.

It might sound sad, but hear me out: I value quality over quantity when it comes to friends, and I think that’s okay. I have a handful of close, loyal friends that I love and cherish, but I definitely don’t need to have a wedding just to have fun and celebrate with them.

Speeches make me uncomfortable.

Public speaking has never been my thing, so I’m going to assume that wedding toasts aren’t either. However, I’d be more than happy to send written notes out to friends and family announcing my new union.

I don’t like dancing in front of people.

I can’t dance. While I know this can be taught, I cringe at the thought of having to boogie down in front of anyone other than my fiance (or my bedroom mirror…but I mean, even that is awkward).

I have anxiety

You might have guessed this already, but I have anxiety to the extent that there is no way I’d be able to deal with planning my own wedding. Sure, I can hire someone to do it for me, but then my anxiety would simply hop on over to them, and I’d be plagued with thoughts like, “Are they planning it right? Is that what I really want? What if they do something I don’t like?” It’s just not something I want to saddle someone else with.

All in all, I’m not the wedding type of person. However, I’m all up for putting on a cute dress and saying my vows in front of a handful of close family and friends. The funny thing is, I am a content writer for a wedding photographer, so I do love weddings, they’re just not for me.