I Hate Summer

Take me to the beach or the pool, and I will get in the water and stare at you like this tiger.

I hate summer.

There. I said it.

Don’t get me wrong. I like the occasional really toasty day as much as the next person. But I have yet to live in a place that doesn’t vacillate horribly between “cold” and “hot” and the joy of it? It’s almost always humid no matter the temperature.

I have hair that is fine and wavy. I have a lot of it. I am also super sensitive to the temperature – pretty much a quick walk up a hill on a warm day will turn me beet-red and make me sweat. And I am in fairly good physical shape. My pale skin and cold-weather skin just does not like the sun.

I blotch.

I burn.

I am woefully uncomfortable from May until October. The temperatures in the last three places I have lived during these months has fluctuated wildly.

I’m pretty convinced I need to move to Greenland, emigrate to northern Canada, or accept my place in Fargo.

Inevitably, every summer, the first sign of frustration and the ushering in of my least favorite season is the never ending search for clothing that will both be comfortable and cool. I can never afford the newest fashion choices that come out in April for summer months. I never fit into what is left on the sale racks come June. So I’m left, sweaty and uncomfortable, wandering the Gap and Ann Taylor Loft in hopes of stumbling upon shorts that are comfortably between knee length and “show your butt” short.

Does anyone look good in those?

I really don’t think so.

No one – not even your significant other – wants to see your butt hanging out of your shorts while you’re walking through a crowd. Really.

What’s the solution? There isn’t one really. I have a strategic set up of fans in my apartment and in the depths of summer heat and humidity, an air conditioner I can sit in front of for hours. But until I learn to operate a sewing machine, make patterns that work, and find fabrics I like, I’m not going to be able to create my own clothing options. I’m going to continue to stew in the heat of New York – where it is actually hotter than other places because of a sick combination of swampy humidity, reflective concrete and dearth of trees.

Until I figure out a way to walk around with a built in air conditioner, I’m going to suffer. What else can one do? It’s only a few months out of the year, right?

Tell me how you handle it. Tell me your tricks for staying cool and dry and comfortable when the thermometer hits anything more than 70. I beg you!

Feature Image via ShutterStock