How to prepare for Thanksgiving this year after this crazy election
If your entire family happens to all belong to the same political party, then congratulations – you won Thanksgiving! Even if your collective candidate was on the losing end of this election, at least you can all agree to be unhappy.
But most families are politically blended. Uncle Steve’s a die hard Democrat. Aunt Susanne voted for Gary Johnson. Grandpa Norm is a dedicated Republican. So if you’re #blessed with a family who can argue about politics ’til the cows come home, we have some tips on how to prepare for Thanksgiving dinner 2016, and avoid strife or murder within the family.
Equip yourself with a stadium horn.
*WARNING: Do not use stadium horn around those who are faint of heart!* If your table is surrounded by those who are healthy and under the age of 60, then bring a stadium horn to quiet the political racket. Any time Cousin Dave brings up Hillary’s email scandal – sound the horn. Aunt-in-law Tracy wonders “who here voted for Trump?” – sound the horn. Mom asks you to sit at the kids table – sound the horn. Your family might kick you out of the house, but at least then you won’t have to hear the never-ending nonsense.
Obtain a “No Politics Zone” sign.
Hang this sign from Zazzle outside your front door to comically tell your family to check their politics at the door. It’s a lighthearted way to tell the fam that you’re just not in the mood to deal. Or, if you’re going to Grandma and Grandpa’s for Thanksgiving, punch some holes in the top and wear it around your neck. It’s simple and funny, yet a polite way to get people to hush up.
The “Election Talk Jar.”
A similar ideology to the “Swear Jar,” the “Election Talk Jar” will quickly train your family to zip it about Trump and Clinton, because if they don’t, they’ll go broke. Your sister, Mary Kate, proclaims a pro-Hillary sentiment under her breath when responding to something Dad said, that’s sure to get him riled up. You hear her comment and you order her to put a dollar in the Election Talk Jar. You can get creative with this idea and charge different amounts for different “Election Talk” subjects. One dollar for hot button Clinton/Trump scandal comments. Fifty cents for any talk of voting for a third-party candidate. You get the idea.
Offer up a juicier point of conversation.
Your family goes around the table and says what they’re thankful for. Stepdad John says he’s thankful that Trump “isn’t a politician, but rather, a businessman.” Some groan, others give a jolly, “here here!” This family time is about to go sour. You skip over Cousin Jake and say you’re thankful that you’ve decided to drop out of school (or something along these lines). Now of course you haven’t actually decided to drop out of school, but this topic offers a dramatic diversion. Yes, the heat is now on you, but think of the alternative you could be dealing with.
Remind everyone what’s really important here.
Our final tip is, remind your family that the election is over. Remind them that we all get to regain some sense of normalcy and focus on our own lives and our own families. What everyone should be thankful for this Thanksgiving, is the fact that even after an election like this, we can still come together as a family and love one another.
And as the wise Stephen Colbert once said: