Hook, Line and Sink Yourself

Ladies. Sigh. LADIES. I have seen some in-freaking-sane behavior coming from Venus in the direction of Mars as of late and there has to be something we can do to stop it. What exactly are we stopping, you ask? We are stopping overly-amped chicas from going banana pancake crazy on the boys. Assuming you’re one of the non-nutsos out there, you might be asking ‘Why must we stop it? It aint my problem…’ but au contraire, my friends, these chicks are giving us a bad, bad name.

I’ll focus on one case in point because this one really covers all the bases. Recently, this girl befriended my man friend and quickly professed her love to him without doing her homework. She then discovered the hard way that he indeed has a girlfriend. She continued to pursue, meeting dead ends because my man friend is a dedicated dude. Her tactics were fascinating: At first she tried to guilt him via email by explaining that nobody she likes is ever interested in her (enter violins). The girlfriend and I sympathized, so we tried to think of someone that we could set her up with. But then the girl got sexually aggressive, sending emails and texts to my friend’s boyfriend, explaining exactly what she wanted to do with him. It involved vegetables. It was weird.

At this point, we retracted our search for an eligible bachelor. Finally, when my man friend, his girlfriend and the lady caller found themselves all at the same party, the aggressor was super rude and nasty to the girlfriend – all because she was so and so’s girl – more on that no-no later. She got wasted drunk and caused a complete scene over something that wasn’t even a ‘thing’. My man friend chose to completely phase this person out his life and he did so in a respectful manner – which was met with hostility, you can imagine.

The whole mess got me thinking about girls and how some can go so far off the rails, creating unnecessary chaos and drama. Now, we females do have a tendency to create stories in our head and fantasize about what could be – that, I think, is normal. But it’s your friends who pull you back down to earth and shake you by the shoulders reminding you that you’re not really dating Ryan Gosling. I mean, you know what I mean. We need to look out for each other and pump each others brakes sometimes. Maybe this girl’s friends were all on vacation. Or hiding. Either way.

Back to the mean girl thing: That’s not very nice or very smart. If she liked my man friend, chances are she’d dig his single friends! Birds of a feather usually flock together. But now that she’s acted like a meanie, she gets zero referrals and zero chance with this guy should he and his gf not work out. Plus, she scathed an innocent bystander and missed out on making an awesome new girl friend. Why do some girls always attack the other girl? We’re supposed to be on the same team. Just my two cents.

If you find yourself saying “What’s wrong with any of the above? There’s plenty of fish in the sea and he just didn’t get her”, well then, imagine me putting my arm around you now and listen close. Yes, there are plenty of fish in the sea – but we are fishing from the same ocean and girls like that are polluting the produce, know what I am saying? Men are settling for the bottom feeders and not even going up for the bait – because they are scared of the hooks of past who caught, tortured and tossed em back in. If someone says that they have a girlfriend, they either do or they’re just not interested in you – and that’s okay because someone will be and it will be great. Always remember: if you’re chasing something, that means it’s running away. There is no sense getting worked up over the once in a while wooer – it’s not the end of the world, really.

After all, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

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