Holi-DIY Monstrosities
The holidays are here, which means one thing: more ham for me. Actually, it means two things: fun with family and friends and Pinterest. No one succeeds more during the holidays than Pinterest. Maybe the discount liquor stores. I’m not sure.
Pinterest, in case you’ve been living under a rock (and if you have, I’m truly sorry and hope you get some R&R and a spray tan), is a fun, colorful online “tack-board” where people can post and share pictures of random things. Handmade dresses. Crocheted teddy bears. Ryan Gosling’s seriously unattractive face.
The other thing people like to do on Pinterest is share crafts and recipes. They even have their own category which is a real outrage since no one thought to dedicate an entire section to Ryan Gosling’s seriously unattractive face first.
Every once in a while, I like to browse the craft and food categories. In real life, I’m the opposite of creative, so it’s nice to pretend I’m talented on Pinterest. “And here’s a picture of Chicken Cordon Bleu… and a picture of spiced green beans… and we’ll end the meal with this picture of lemon meringue pie. Man, I’m on fire today!”
But duplicating things on Pinterest in real life? That’s much harder and takes actual work, which I avoid at all costs. If I had been on the sinking Titanic, I would’ve been the one on the lido deck taking a nap.
The other day, I saw a picture of a lovely vanilla cake on Pinterest. There were flowers and fondant and sugar crystals. I thought, “I can make this!” Six ingredients, not too much prep time. Four hours later, my sister found me in the kitchen clutching at what appeared to be a doughy replica of the baby Jesus.
I’m not sure what happened between the time I took my eyes off of the computer screen and when I popped the Jesus loaf into the oven. But somewhere in there, the Kitchen Gods decided enough was enough.
It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in my struggles though. There are even blogs, like DIY Disasters and Pinstrosity, dedicated to showcasing our failure. It’s the internet equivalent of a high school reunion.
This holiday season, please bedazzle responsibly. No drinking and dicing. Before you think “What’s the worst that could happen”, remember all of the fallen who tried so hard to make that melted-crayon art and burned all of their nose hair out in the process.
Are you a “Pinner”? Have you ever tried to replicate something you saw on Pinterest? Make sure to tell me about your worst DIY monstrosities in the comments below (you know, so I won’t feel so bad about my horrific cooking skills…)!
…Happy Crafting/Holiday-ing, friends.
