One of Hillary Clinton’s main concerns after the election was sending a positive message to women, and sigh

Hillary Clinton got real in a new interview with New York Magazine‘s Rebecca Traister. And we have feelings. A lot of feelings. We’re not going to lie, it’s pretty heartbreaking reading about her post-election life and what she was thinking at Trump’s inauguration. So get you’re tissues ready.

Clinton wanted to be optimistic about the inauguration.

But, like us, she was disappointed

“It was a really painful cry to his hard-core supporters that he wasn’t changing, she says. “The ‘carnage’ in our country? It was a very disturbing moment. I caught Michelle Obama’s eye, like, What is going on here? I was sitting next to George and Laura Bush, and we have our political differences, but this was beyond any experience any of us had ever had.

She also talks about the relentless hate that she’s faced even after losing the election.

“You know, these guys on the other side are not just interested in my losing, they want to keep coming after me. I mean, think about that for a minute. What are they so afraid of? Me, to some extent. Because I don’t die, despite their best efforts. But what [really drives them] is what I represent.

She even got candid about how she dealt with it all.

And, yes, a little wine may have been involved.

She said, “But you know what? I’m doing okay…Long walks in the woods. Organizing my closets. I won’t lie: Chardonnay helped a little, too.”

The whole interview is definitely worth reading. The insight into things like the loss, Comey’s firing, and her commencement speeches are inspiring. And this interview shows that she continues to fight for us.

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