20 hilarious tweets that sum up the chaos of fatherhood

By Stephanie hallett

June 8, 2017

By Stephanie hallett

June 8, 2017

Ah, dads. Their jokes are embarrassing AF when we’re kids, yet they’re endlessly charming after we turn 25. These poor guys can’t catch a break! That’s why, in honor of Father’s Day on June 18th, we decided to round up the funniest tweets about fatherhood — because dads, as much as you drive us crazy, we appreciate you in all of your over-the-top dad joke glory.

From celeb dads, like Deadpool star Ryan Reynolds, to everyday papas who keep us rolling on Twitter, these hilarious parents deserve an award for summing up fatherhood in 140 characters or less.

Enough chatter — keep scrolling for the best tweets about fatherhood!

1Germs get passed around

My daughter just sneezed into my yawning mouth. Seemed really fucking pleased with herself. Joke's on her. She'll have to bury me someday.

— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) April 16, 2016

2This about sums it up

Being a dad is mostly just remembering to buy ketchup and eating leftovers.

— keith (@tchrquotes) June 7, 2015

3Reality can get confusing

"YOU ARE THE WORST DAD IN THE WORLD!" screamed my daughter, contradicting the mug she once got me and now I don't know what to believe.

— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) August 31, 2014

4Everybody poops, right?

5: daddy can I tell you a secret?

Me: sure thing buddy

5: *grabs my face and whispers* I just pooped and I didn't wash my hands

— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) June 9, 2015

5When the student becomes the teacher

[Tucking in my 4 year old]

4YO: Daddy??
Me: Yes buddy?
4: We don't fart on friends.
M: Good advice buddy.

— Bo Davis (@BoRyan11) November 26, 2016

6A cookie monster is born

Me: Who ate all the cookies?

5-year-old: Ninjas.

Me: I didn’t see them.

5-year-old: No one ever does.

Checkmate.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 6, 2015

7A future politician is in our midst

I think my kid just declared prostitution a government service. pic.twitter.com/C7hWpG7lpj

— Lou Whiteman (@louwhiteman) March 26, 2015

8Bath time!

Apparently a 2 year old getting her hair washed and an exorcism sound oddly similar.

— Jacques (@jnyemb) March 30, 2014

9Hey, they had to learn at some point

Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.

— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) September 4, 2011

10When being a dad gets scary

Me: You can't like Kylo Ren. He killed his dad.

5-year-old: Maybe he deserved it.

I'm never sleeping again.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 11, 2016

11And even scarier

I'm at my most hostage negotiator when I see my 3 year old holding a permanent marker without the lid.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 21, 2014

12Here’s some necessary self-reflection

Before having a kid the most important thing to ask yourself is “Am I ready to watch the exact same cartoon on repeat for the next 4 years?”

— colonel rob fee (@robfee) March 3, 2015

13#Fierce

WARNING! Do not leave your phone anywhere near my daughter. She will figure out your code & take selfies with it… pic.twitter.com/5o6zQVMvz0

— Mario Lopez (@mariolopezviva) June 5, 2015

14You can’t be a sore loser

7: I'm beating you!

Me: Ok.

7: I'm way ahead!

Me: I see that.

7: I'm gonna win!

Me:….

My son on the carousel horse in front of me.

— Master of Mediocrity (@charliedelta7) March 13, 2016

15We see where she’s coming from

https://twitter.com/udfredirect/status/664491838313664512

16Ouch

Want to know the parent's version of #RussianRoulette? Turn off the lights and walk barefoot through a toddler's playroom. #DadProbs

— Drew Overholt (@Drew_Overholt) May 14, 2017

17Ok, gross, but we appreciate the candor

My kids so smart..he's testing the theory about farting in someone's face causing pink eye. Just wish I wasn't his test subject #dadprobs

— Ben Bickford (@thebenjamins4) April 30, 2017

18What kids will do for a cookie

My kid threatened to hold her breath until I gave her dessert. She's now passed out on the kitchen floor. I don't negotiate with terrorists.

— Tim (@Playing_Dad) January 10, 2013