Attention, ranch dressing fans — Hidden Valley has a new clothing collection for the holidays


Leave it up to the original creators of ranch dressing, Hidden Valley, to bless us with holiday-themed ranch merchandise we never knew was possible, but deep in our hearts knew we needed.

The company has just launched its Hidden Valley Ranch OUTlet, a site where you can purchase fantastical ranch dressing commodities. There’s a ranch dressing fountain to impress visiting relatives, an “ugly” sweater to make you the envy of all at your company party, and even a ranch dressing Christmas tree ornament that will no doubt steal the spotlight from all your other decor.

Within the last year, more and more food brands have released themed fashion and accessory merchandise. In July, KFC promptly sold out of its collection, which had a pillowcase featuring a portrait of the Colonel so you could lovingly gaze at him before bedtime. This September, Taco Bell collaborated with fashion retailer Forever 21 on a clothing line that included bodysuits, hoodies, and tops. And who could forget last year when Cheetos released a $20,000 jewelry set and an orange-hued cheek bronzer?

It was only a matter of time for the supreme condiment, ranch dressing, to have its own wearable fandom.

Hidden Valley first dropped its own merchandise in March, which included a $50 bedazzled ranch dressing bottle that host Andy Cohen got his hands on.

What, pray tell, is more majestic than this?

Ranch dressing may be a polarizing condiment, but for those of us on Team Ranch, the passion runs deep. On an early installment of The Real World (specifically The Real World: London) one character freaks out due to lack of ranch dressing across the pond. In another MTV series, True Life, one woman pulled out a bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch dressing whilst on a date to a restaurant with her boyfriend. Ranch dressing lovers describe that moment as life-changing and iconic, because, well, it was.

Let’s take a relaxing stroll through the new ranch merchandise Hidden Valley has bestowed upon us.

1Hidden Valley Green Ranch Sweatshirt, $40


A simple, understated way to express your ranch dressing adoration.

2Hidden Valley Ranch Ornament, $12


Your new favorite Christmas tree ornament is here.

3Hidden Valley Ranch Fountain, $89


If you or someone you know is getting married this holiday season, this fountain would make a marvelous reception piece, would it not? Even though the fountain already sold out, you can pre-order both the fountain with the skirt for $110.

4Hidden Valley Ranch Red Ugly Christmas Sweater, $40


They may call this an “ugly” sweater, but it’s’ the most beautiful garment we’ve ever seen.

5Hidden Valley Ranch Slippers, $25


Spice up your dad’s annual Christmas gift with these fashionable slippers.

6Hidden Valley Mini Ranch Keg, $50


We don’t recommend doing a keg stand with this particular keg, OR DO WE?! It also comes with a year supply of ranch!

7Hidden Valley Pattern Socks, $12


We dare you to wear these socks with sandals, ranch-onista!

8Hidden Valley Ranch Fuzzy Socks, $12


Tell ’em what you need without saying a word.

Shop Hidden Valley’s glorious merchandise in its entirety here.

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