Help! I don’t know how to successfully adult

I am graduating college in one month. For many people, this is the most exciting thing that could ever happen to them. And, for me, yeah it’s exciting. But, more than anything it is absolutely terrifying. When you’re twenty-two years old, and about to finish something that has always seemed like an unattainable dream, graduating college is scary. Every single day someone asks me, “What are you getting your degree in?” I respond with “English” and the go to response I get is, “Oh, so what are you even going to do with that, teach? Write? What can you even do with that degree?” You know what I want to do with that degree? Get a job. I am uninterested in being told about how I should have picked a degree that is more suited to finding a job.

So, here is my plea for help; a list of adult things that as a twenty-two year old (almost) college graduate I still can’t figure out how to do.

Help! I can’t iron

What even is the point of ironing? How do you do it? Why is it still not acceptable for my shirts to be slightly wrinkly every day?

Taxes, what even are you

So what if my dad still has to file my taxes for me every year? What you mean adults know how to do that alone?

Cook a meal that takes more than five minutes to prepare? What?

So you’re saying that after spending an hour at the grocery store buying the groceries to cook the dinner, it is going to take an entire hour to cook? Nope, not happening, let’s go to Taco Bell.

LOL being financially responsible

Wait, so adults don’t accidentally blow $200 on ModCloth on a Tuesday night because they’re having a rough day? I literally don’t even have a savings account

401K is a snack, right?

What does that even mean? What’s the ‘k’ is it supposed to be like “lol, it’s k you’re broke?”

What’s a “car insurance”?

I cannot even remember the last time that I was financially responsible and capable enough to fill up my gas tank all the way. Smog tests? What? Oil changes every 3,000 miles? How?

Um, healthcare?

Going to the dentist or doctor alone: Every single time I have an appointment, I call my mother, 3000 miles away and attempt to convince her to fly to take me. She always says no, what the heck, mom? And, don’t even get me started on making the appointments.

Netflix is the same a job, right?

I mean, I’m sorry if being an adult includes not bingeing Gilmore Girls for an entire day, I don’t ever want to be one.

So, these are essentially the reasons I am not at all prepared for adulthood. But, hey! That’s okay, because I honestly believe that no one is ever ready to become an adult. There are so many things that people assume everyone will be ready for just because a person is about to graduate college. It’s okay to not have a career path right out of college, and it’s totally okay to feel confident in your future, even if you’re not exactly sure what you want to do. If you have your whole life figured out, I applaud you. But, if you don’t, I applaud you to! You’re not alone. And, remember, at least you probably know how to iron a shirt.

Alyssa has never heard a Beyonce song that she didn’t describe as her anthem, and wonders if Mindy Lahiri is the same person as she is. Follow me on Twitter: @AlyssSmithh and 

[Image via Universal Pictures]

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