Helen Mirren really, really doesn’t want you to drive drunk

Helen Mirren, a self-described “frank and uncensored British lady,” has teamed up with Budweiser for an important reason: To stop people from drunk driving.

The duo have decided to eschew the typical drunk driving ads and instead just give it to you straight. Drunk driving is a horrible, awful thing that affects not just the driver’s life, but the lives of the people around them. If Helen Mirren calling you a “short-sighted, utterly useless, oxygen-waisting human form of pollution” doesn’t convince you, then maybe being called a “Darwin award-deserving, selfish coward” will.

Don’t worry, there’s plenty more amazingly terrifying Helen Mirren insults below. Just please don’t drive drunk, okay?